Plans & Plants

I recently got a new baby — a new Apple Mint plant 🙂 Here’s a photo!

 

With so many things spiraling in my life right now (yes, I am a bit dramatic at the moment), I wanted something I could venture into. I wanted something I can focus my attention to and get joy and fulfillment by caring for it — and since I cannot get a pet, I settled for the next best thing: a plant.

I got so excited when a friend of mine got this one for me! She got a good deal on herbs and got me one too.

The moment I got it, I was stoked and frantic at the same time! I suddenly had all these plans in my head — I want to make mint tea! I need to put it in my room!  No! It has to be outside! I want … — ETC. It didn’t stop there either. I started Google-ing all sorts of home garden guides, YouTube-ing a bunch of videos on How to Take Care of Mints, and I even went on a Craigslist spree to look for bigger pots (my research shows that mints are invasive plants and need room to expand and grow)!

When all the crazy was over, I had a plan — I’d see how my plant grows in this pot. Test out my caring skills for about a month. Go thrift store hopping for bigger pots. Re-pot. And repeat! (Plus a little pruning and harvesting every now and then.)

Everyone has plans, we all know it; even the bible confirms it. —

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

God, too, has plans for us.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Difference is, not everyone who has plans has the ability to carry them out and see them through.

I have a LOT of plans for my new plant. But since it’s my first plant, I am not really sure if I will be able to fully see all my plans through — or if I will be successful enough to even be able to try to carry out these plans!

I really like this plant, and I do not want anything bad to happen to it. I want to care for it. I PLAN to ensure it will be happy, cared for, able to propagate, and have a fruitful (pun sort of intended — though I don’t think mints have fruits) life.

But the reality is, my plans are just plans.

I am not capable of ensuring that all these plans can come to fruition. Sure, I can look back in a year or so and say: “Wow, I did it!” But until then, there is no way for me to guarantee my plant anything other than a bunch of plans.

God in Jeremiah 29:11 says He has plans for us — amazing plans for OUR betterment and OUR future. And these are plans every parent who loves their children will make. Every parent, one way or another, has plans for their kids — plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them hope and a future.

But the reality is, their plans are just plans.

People can plan all they want, for themselves or for others; but not everyone is capable.

This is when I had my Aha!  moment.

I do not simply trust my Jesus because I know He has a PLAN. I trust Him because I know HE CAN SEE HIS PLANS THROUGH. 

The bible is also very vocal about God’s power.

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matt. 19:26

For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

(Some more here: 100 Verses About God’s Power and 40 Verses About God’s Omnipotence)

The bible is filled with verses such as these, verses that declare the omnipotence of God. THIS is why He can make all these promises about having great plans for us — because when He makes plans, only He can undo them.

When God created the world, He had a plan for it and every single thing in and on it. When it fell into sin, He announced His plans for salvation right then and there. When the time came, He fulfilled His promise and sent His Messiah — Jesus. When He accomplished His sacrifice on the cross, He said it was finished, and it is. When He said He can save you, He did. Now? He said He’d come again, and He will.

So the next time you see a plant, may you think of HIM who can turn plans into plants.

His eye is on the sparrow — His hand is upon me

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31

Sparrow — Audrey Assad

While randomly watching videos on YouTube, I somehow got to watching this video — and I knew, God wanted to talk, I mean, that He’s talking.

Son, I know you know this. You know full well how much I love you, the hope you have in Me, the Joy I give, and all that stuff. However son, do not forget that these things are CONSTANT — no matter how you feel, it does not, will not, and CANNOT change the fact that I love you, I died for you, I saved you, I’m your strength, your deliverance, your perfect friend, your LOVE. It’s time to start singing again my son.

It’s the time the prodigal saint remembers he’s a SAINT. 

What is Faith? (Through Joshua’s Eyes)

1. It is going into a land flowing with milk and honey, a land with grapevines too huge for one person to carry, a land of fortified cities and humongous people and coming out saying: “Let’s conquer it! It’s God’s promise land!” (Numbers 13 – 14:1-38)

Joshua was to lead the people of God into the Promise Land — Moses sinned against God and lost his privilege to enter the land — and even before he was tasked with the job of leading the Nation of Israel, he showcased unwavering trust in his God.

Growing up in church, I’ve always despised how foolish the Israelites were to doubt God’s supremacy in delivering to them a land that has been promised to their ancestors — way before they were in Egypt. Also, it never made sense to me how the people who lived through the 10 Plagues (Exodus 7-11), saw the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14), had quail and bread miraculously rain down on them IN THE DESERT (Exodus 16),  drank water that was turned sweet by a piece of wood (Exodus 15:22-27), drank water that came from a rock (Exodus 17:1-7, Numbers 20:1-13), had God guide them through a “magical” pillar of cloud and pillar of fire (Exodus 13:21-22), among others, COULD ALL OF A SUDDEN FORGET HOW GREAT THEIR GOD IS!

Sadly, we, Saints, usually end up forgetting the amazing feats God has shown us, too. It’s just so much easier to see what’s in front of us and forget that there is a God waiting for us to simply trust Him! 

What giant infested cities are you faced with conquering right now? Take it from Joshua, our God is SO MUCH BIGGER!

2. It is getting a whole nation to cross a HUGE RIVER at its FLOOD STAGE and letting the priests — not the more able bodied men who would have had better chances of surviving the rapids — to step into the waters first. (Joshua 3)

When the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, the Lord parted the waters FIRST before having them advance; however, when He wanted them to cross the flooding Jordan River, He did not part the waters UNTIL the priests stepped into them.

There is no other way to please God but through FAITH.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

How much do you trust God to part the waters for you? Would you take the step into the raging waters and trust that when He said He’d allow you to cross, you would be able to cross?

The Israelites were people who rarely got their feet wet — they crossed the Red Sea ON DRY LAND and the Jordan River ON DRY LAND, too!

I’ve come to see life and the world as a scary Jordan River that I have to cross.

Why won’t it be scary? You have to worry about what career to pursue, where to get the money to pursue that, how to pursue it (do I just study? do I work? do I get volunteer experiences? do I pump my CV up with hectic extra-curricular stuff?).  First you worry about getting into a good school, then you worry about grades, then you realize grades aren’t enough, you start thinking about things to add to your resume, then you think of what to do after university, and you realize you need further studies, but that you also need more experience, and you need money to study and get experience  … and the list goes on and on and on.

What did God tell me?

“Son, just cross the river. Just GO!”

He’d part the waters for me.

Besides, for a nation in conquest of the Promise Land, the Jordan River was the LEAST of their problems — likewise, we, as Saints, are to fulfill a higher calling, the world and all it’s “important” things are the least of our concerns. 

3. It’s leading a nation of desert-wandering freed slaves to conquer a FORTIFIED CITY. No military men, just desert-wanderers. (Joshua 6)

It’s one thing to conquer a city, it’s another to LEAD inexperienced people to conquer it with you. Joshua was not only a soldier in God’s army, he was a commander and a leader. He was tasked to LEAD A WHOLE NATION.

The mistakes and the falls that he might encounter will not only affect him, it will affect ALL of Israel.

Talk about pressure!

But in all these, he stood firm. Not because he was a great man, but because he had a GREAT GOD.

A God that did not lack in encouragement. In Joshua 1 alone, God told Joshua FOUR TIMES to “Be strong and courageous!”

Not to mention, He also said: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)

He was fully set with God by his side.

4. It’s fighting your first battle in the Promise Land with priests in the front lines and trumpets and lung-bursting shouts as your main artillery — again, no advanced military weaponry nor training, and same fortified city. (Joshua 6)

They destroyed Jericho, conquered it, and took over it in the name of the Lord — all by marching around it for 7 days, trumpet sounds, and shouts.

No order was too ridiculous for Joshua to obey, he knew where he had his faith placed. 

They had their first victory ENTIRELY by trusting God and obeying Him — FAITH to conquer all — ’nuff said!

5. It’s having a “When I say jump, you JUMP” mentality — hearing from God every step of the way and simply carrying out orders. (Jos. 1:1, 3:7, 4:1, 4:15, 5:2, 5:9, 6:2 … and so on)

In Joshua chapters 1 to 6, the Bible records SEVEN phrases that said: “The Lord said to Joshua,” In all seven, there was no special mention that he retreated to a mountain top, or locked himself up in his tent, etc — nope, it was written as though God was simply with him and told him things like normal people would! 

Well, God did say that He will be with him ALWAYS, like how He was with Moses. God kept His promise — like He always does. And Joshua listened.

It’s important to note that in the Old Testament, God’s relationship with His people was that of a GOD and a PEOPLE who worshiped Him and belonged to Him. He was a KING, the people were His servants — it’s a pretty impersonal relationship, BUT we see how intimate people like Joshua are to Him.

If Joshua could be so certain of God’s commands, His presence, and His deliverance — HOW MUCH MORE WE, SAINTS?

Joshua was a military leader, a conqueror through a God who delivers. We?

We’re MORE THAN CONQUERORS through HIM who LOVED us so.

As Saints, we are BOUGHT by Jesus’s precious blood and are given the privilege to call God our FATHER — the Israelites in the Old Testament would shudder at the thought of addressing such an awesome Being with intimate names like “Father” and “Lover.”

We are co-heirs of Christ in the promise of eternal life — we are no longer just His servants, we are His FRIENDS; we are no longer just His people, we are His children. 

Think about what that means; with such intimacy, why can’t we exercise faith like Joshua?

We serve the same God, we share the same promise of His constant presence and His help, and we even have it better than Joshua — we have a LOVE relationship with Him! Why can’t we fulfill the same calling to be consecrated and set-apart for Him?

Saints, Joshua led the Israelites in the way of the Lord. They lived as a nation set-apart from the rest of the world. We have that same calling. The glory, fame, and victories they enjoyed were mere by-products of them seeking God first.

Every victory came from obedience, fame and glory came as bonuses for being faithful — God does not want us to focus on this world, but ON HIM — we’re simply transients on this world, we’re CITIZENS of HEAVEN.

Shedding Petals, Growing Leaves

All of my life, in every season, You are still God.

I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

(“Desert Song” — Hillsong United)

I haven’t posted in like forever, and my lovely daughter called me out today for that.

While we were talking, we got into the whole idea of me turning 20 and what growing up meant for the both of us. Turns out, she liked the idea of being seen and known as mature while I didn’t — I liked being a kid, being seen like one.

For the most part, I like the idea of being known as a kid. Kids don’t get judged and scolded a lot, plus, they get praised more for doing “big people stuff.” I’d lose all that when I acknowledge being 20 and start being the adult I’m supposed to be.

Also, I loved being God’s “needy baby.”

While walking down the street though, I saw these beautiful cherry blossom trees (I’m no botanist nor taxonomist, I call then out as I see them on TV. haha) and they were losing their cute pink fluff! The ground was littered with pink petals, and as I gazed up on the tree, I saw a pinkish green hue — the tree was losing its petals to make way for leaves.

Come to think of it, people take care of plants and adore them for their pretty flowers — for the most part, at least. But plants survive and thrive by being at the bottom of the food chain: by being the only creatures capable of producing their own food! They need their leaves, especially green ones; elementary biology would tell you that plants need chlorophyl for photosynthesis. The pretty pink petals can’t do that for the tree…

God designed that particular kind of tree to start of spring pretty in pink, and then grow leaves. Made me realize, sure, God allowed me to relish and enjoy my youth; now, it’s time for me to grow up.

Growing up doesn’t mean independence from God, I realized, it means more responsibilities and tougher choices — translation? TO SURVIVE AS AN ADULT, YOU’D NEED GOD MORE.

So what do I say to turning twenty?

Bring on the years that would allow me to see more of God’s grace, to understand more His unfailing love, and to strengthen me to serve Him better!

Consistency: The Kingdom vs the King

Every now and then I’d add the calendar widget to my blog, just to see how “consistent” I’ve been in posting.

Usually, I do that when I really want to write, but somehow can’t — so I check how many I’ve written for the week and if I could get away with not writing, or if I can let it go and hope something comes to me a few days later.

Now that I think about it? I couldn’t be any further from His heart.

I decided to write this blog, as I’ve repeated countless times, to try and foster a sense of community for Saints everywhere whom God decides to reach through this blog. With that, I’ve always held on to the idea that I will KEEP POSTING AS LONG AS HE KEEPS GIVING SOMETHING TO POST ABOUT.

For about a month that went on AWESOMELY. If you check it out, you can find a day or two when I posted about 2 to 4 blog entries! I was on fire last month. I just started typing away the moment I feel the Spirit stir up something in me to write about — and since it’s the Spirit working? My fingers just kept dancing around on the keys and words kept flowing.

Recently, I’m down to about a post a week. It’s depressing and discouraging to say the least. What’s more? These weekly posts — by some silly standard I don’t really understand but can certainly feel — just don’t seem to be at par with my older ones.

I feel like such a failure. As a writer. As a blogger. And definitely as a Saint.

That last failure category sure struck a cord — Failure as a Saint.

And like any prodigal would do? I tried fixing the problem myself. I didn’t bother seeking God, I was already bothering Him way too much with my school work — this is something He has entrusted to me, and I want to do what I can to show I can be responsible in what He’s given me.

WRONG

As Saints I failed with the only responsibility we’ve been entrusted with — TO LOVE THE LORD MY GOD.

I was minding the kingdom too much, I forgot ITS KING.

There was no way I’d be able to get back  to “my rhythm” in writing JUST BY MY OWN EFFORTS. After all, it’s HIS blog — He won’t let me go on writing WITHOUT HIM.

I realized, I’m not just experiencing a common case of “writer’s block” — my HEART was blocked.

Lately, I’ve been under too much work — a term nearing its end is like having stabbed a snake and have it coil up around you tighter before it lets go of its life. I’ve placed too much focus on what I have to do, and forgot what I OUGHT TO DO.

I am a Saint, I’m called to be in constant communion with Him — nothing more, definitely, nothing LESS.

Why can’t I write? Because I don’t have anything to write about.

Why don’t I have anything to write about? Because I have no source of ideas.

Why don’t I have any sources? BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN AS CLOSE AS I SHOULD BE WITH MY GOD — MY SOURCE OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

Jesus said:

Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15: 4-5)

Apart from Him (Jesus) we can do nothing. I’d personally go further and say, apart from Him, we are NOTHING.

God in His grace has reminded me of this, sure, I have to go through times of drought too — but no season in life would ever trump His promise:

MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. (2 Cor. 12:9a)

TheProdigalSaint’s been called to come back; and all this time he thought he’s been back — apparently, he’s not “home” enough.

God’s love is too stubborn to just let us be average — it won’t stop till we’re fully basking in it.

You were as I, tempted and tried… human.

This line just kept playing in my head for the WHOLE week (in fact, I think it’s been like this for two weeks)!

I don’t remember the whole song, just this line. I just keep singing it in my head:

“You were as I tempted and tried. Human.”

Tonight, He finally told me why.

***

theprodigalsaint: “You were as I, tempted and tried — human.”

God: Oh, so you’re still singing that?

theprodigalsaint: I can’t get it out of my head! 

God: Do you know why?

theprodigalsaint: Well, it’s definitely a reminder that there’s no excuse for my sins — even You, in the form of Jesus, were tempted but remained sinless.

God: Well, I was still God during My time on earth.

theprodigalsaint:  True, but You were also completely man.

God: True. Hey, what song are you gonna present for Easter again?

theprodigalsaint: Huh? Oh, “No Greater Love”

God: You have a solo part right? I made sure you were given that part, what part was it.

theprodigalsaint: It’s — :’)

[No Greater Love is a Cantata by John Piper about the life of Jesus. I was given the part of Jesus being tempted in the desert. It was a duet using the tempter’s words and Jesus’s responses — I was singing Jesus’s responses. ♥]

***

Jesus was fully human and fully God; He too was tempted and tried — EVEN BY SATAN HIMSELF!

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (Matt. 4:1)

***

theprodigalsaint: Now I get it! But isn’t that what I said? You kept putting this line, not even the whole song, in my head to remind me that I am supposed to follow in Your footsteps — not fall into sin. 

God: Mm-hmm. But that’s not all. What else did you sing about?

theprodigalsaint: Well, I was singing the things You — :’)

***

Jesus, when He was being tempted by Satan, defended Himself — with God’s word.

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matt. 4:4)

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” (Matt. 4:7)

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” (Matt. 4: 10)

He held on to God’s word. He knew what He was to do — obey God ONLY and FULLY.

***

theprodigalsaint: Well, Lord, it’s not that easy. Sure, I want to hold on to Your words too. I also have enough knowledge of Your words to be able to defend against the sins Satan commonly tempts me with. But…

God: But it’s not that easy because ‘I just can’t understand how there are things that you humans crave for so much that it’s become a physical pain?” or that ‘I don’t understand that there are things that you humans are prone too? Your emotions, your flesh’s desires, your socially constructed constraints, etc?’ 

theprodigalsaint: Yes, Lord! Yes! Exactly!

God: Son, why don’t you read the passage again.

***

Jesus had to deal with Satan like most of us. He, was COMPLETELY human after all.

After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” (Matt. 4:2-3)

***

God: Did you see it?

theprodigalsaint: Yes.

God: So…?

theprodigalsaint: When You were tempted, you were tempted with something categorically similar to everything I’m tempted with … I mean, the circumstances are the same.

God: Mm-hmm, go on?

theprodigalsaint: When I am tempted, it’s SO easy to fall when I’m tired and/or stressed. Emotionally unstable because of physical weariness. It’s hard to focus, to think first before I act, let alone to ponder upon Your word before falling into Satan’s trap.

God: And at that time?

theprodigalsaint: Jesus was hungry and tired — He was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights! And He was tempted with food.

God: But?

theprodigalsaint: But what?

God: You were thinking of  a “but,” what is it?

theprodigalsaint: Well, He was FASTING after all, so that means He was spiritually recharged at that time. He was in communion with You! He was praying and all. He definitely was spiritually ready, and probably even mentally, to take Satan head on!

God: Sure, He was filled by the Spirit at that time. And yes, He was in communion with Me at that time. So what does that tell you?

theprodigalsaint:  … that if I were to spend my days seeking and communing with You CONSTANTLY, I will be able to draw on Your strength too, like how Jesus was spiritually ready to battle Satan, even when He was physically drained.

 God: And?

theprodigalsaint: And that no amount of physical craving or limitation would be able to weaken a Saint empowered by the Spirit — Your Spirit.

God: So now are you convinced that I really understand how you feel? How temptations appeal to your certain ‘perceived’ needs? Jesus was extremely hungry at that time, but He didn’t give in. He was SO tired, stones to bread would’ve been an easy way out of things. 

theprodigalsaint: He knew that there are greater things than just this fleshly body we’re bound in. He knew He had a higher purpose to fulfill: to bring You glory and to overcome sin and death. Turning stones to bread would not accomplish anything, in terms of His mission. That action won’t glorify You. Besides, if He were to do that, He’s be obeying and pleasing Satan — He knew what You want. He had the power in Him, but He knew you won’t allow Him too, why? Because there’s no purpose to it.

God: Sounds familiar?

theprodigalsaint: There are a LOT of things I know You can give me, I know I can do, and I know I can get — But I have to always trust in Your plan and focus on being goal oriented.

God: Goal oriented?

theprodigalsaint: Focused on one goal, and one goal alone, doing only things that please You. 

God: I think I’ve already told you that sometime ago, right?

theprodigalsaint: Yup. It went something like: There really is no such thing as right and wrong — only what pleases and displeases God — You.

God: There’s something else…

theprodigalsaint: hmm?

God: Son, I want you to be like Me. More and more like Me — like Jesus. He held on to My word, never let go. I  kept playing that line in your head to remind you that YOU ARE CAPABLE of doing what I did when I was on earth — be FOCUSED! Son, I don’t want you to just remember My words in times of temptation — I want you to be able to focus on My word in EVERYTHING. You need Me, you know that. And I want to help you too, and this is My way of telling you how. Stick close to Me, walk with Me — ALWAYS. Always means ALWAYS, right?

theprodigalsaint: I haven’t been giving much thought to what You want for everything, have I?

God: Mm-hmm,

theprodigalsaint: And that lead to a very slow but constant drift away from You. Slowly, yet definitely surely, I was making decisions on my own, focusing on things I want. Not that I was focusing on huge decisions, but just things like how to spend my afternoon, where to eat for lunch, what to eat for dinner, how to talk with my friends, how to deal with classmates, how to act on the bus, how to… etcetcetc. The more I got used to mundane things and mundane decisions made everyday — the more callous I became to You. When the time came that I needed to cling to You and let go of what I want and focus on what You want, I was already too used to listening to myself.

God: So what do you plan to do now?

theprodigalsaint: Pray, ask, and focus — I mean, just ask.

God: Ask?

theprodigalsaint: Ask for Your help and Your empowerment — that I may be focused. I cannot do all these on my own, I am too weak. BUT! There is power in You. 🙂

God: *chuckles* I love you, son.

theprodigalsaint: and I couldn’t be happier >:D< Love you too!

***

P.S. Here’s the song, thanks to Google, I finally found out what song it was!

Lead Me to the Cross — Hillsongs

I’ll trust Your Heart

Was reading something off Tumblr, and these words jumped at me:

Life is not easy at times and we find ourselves having a difficult time with just running through the motions but that’s okay.

This morning, well afternoon actually, I woke up with a heavy heart. I don’t really understand why, but I knew I was feeling something wrong — either emotionally or spiritually — something was just WRONG.

I tried praying, I tried seeking Him, but that downtrodden feeling of being overwhelmed by an inexplicable sadness and discontent still lingered. I did a very short and quite rushed devotion. He gave me John 16:33, the verse was familiar, so I just browsed through it and went on with my day.

Went to choir practice after, Mandarin Choir practice, still feeling heavy and unattached. We were practicing a cantata for Easter — No Greater Love, in Mandarin of course. Then we practiced some songs to be sung for the next few Sundays, and since Lent is already underway, the songs were mostly about the Cross. I sang mindlessly. My Chinese has become rusty, so I was having a hard time following the lyrics; I focused on the notes, but the way people around me sang just keeps throwing me off. I was distracted to say the least. I saw EVERYTHING that could make me go crazy and act up — all the while missing His love signals.

Got home, had dinner, and defaulted to surfing — that’s when I read a friend’s Tumblr post.

I realized, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t depressed — I was tired. Tired of the mundane, or at least of the “regular.” It was a constant up and down, a never ending cycle of being in peace and bliss and crashing into sin, disappointment and despair. I don’t think I’m moving forward — I think I’m just going through the motions.

So when I was reading my friend’s post, I just had to show her this video:

It was my go-to song when trying to encourage people who just can’t seem to find purpose in their Christian walk. So obviously, I had to listen to it again. That’s when He made me realize that I am just really tired.

The world is not where we’re supposed to be — we’re SAINTS — citizens of Heaven, consequently, aliens on earth. It’s tiring to live somewhere you’re not at home in, it’s tiring to be waiting on when you can return home, and it’s definitely tiring to be battling all the time and not always winning.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

I took a second look at the verse He gave me this morning, and I noticed the words I skipped over — Peace, Overcome the world.

I realized, all this hoopla of being discouraged and all was just my humanity acting up on the fact that I am still IN WAITING. Nothing much has changed since I posted about Waiting; I still am dealing with waiting. It was crazy of me to just write about it and forget about the things I wrote — things He told me to help me deal with waiting.

I am tired. Yes. I am starting to be discouraged. Definitely. I have no idea where I’m going, and what progress (if any) I’m making. Sure.

BUT!

All these should NEVER be enough reason for me to stop SEEKING and drawing CLOSER to Him. 

Just moments ago, I received a reply from a church mate. I emailed him last night to share with him my post on waiting, after hearing his sharing on how he’s dealing with God and waiting on Him. His reply reads:

Thanks Ivan! Encouraging post, it helps to know someone else is going through the same thing.

Yea just have to be patient. See you at church!

Yes, PATIENCE. Funny how the most fundamental and basic lesson in waiting is the lesson I forgot! Maybe I deliberately did that, I’ve always been afraid of the word — PATIENCE.

God is love, and His love is unfailing. Through His love, we are saved — and by His love, we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS. Sure, the world gets me down, I get tired, I feel crazy, BUT, I have to exercise PATIENCE. It’s all part of His plan — a plan focused on LOVE FOR ME.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

“So when you don’t understand, when you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, TRUST HIS HEART.“

Faith – Above and Beyond Reason

For the past few weeks, my devotions have been taking me on a journey through the Old Testament. (I just finished GENESIS! YEY.) Thing is, I realized, there were SO many things I never knew about Jacob, Judah, Joseph, Abraham, Isaac, etc.

See, when Sunday school teachers teach you (you in your Elementary days) about the lives of these people, they DO not include the ff.:

1. Lot and his daughters (Gen. 19: 30-36)

Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

2. God actually saying that Jacob would be greater than Esau before Jacob deceived him and his father. (Gen. 25:23)

The LORD said to her,

“Two nations are in your womb,
and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
and the older will serve the younger.”

3. Commotion between Rachel and Leah, Jacob’s wives. (Gen. 29:31-30:24)

*how they were bickering about who was loved more, how they plotted to be the “most loved,” pleaded with God for children after children, etc.

4. Judah’s first born son dying because of his wickedness. (Gen. 38:7)

 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death.

5. Onan’s, Judah’s second son, wickedness and his punishment. (Gen. 38:9-10)

But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.

6. Judah and her daughter-in-law. (Gen. 38:13-27)

*him sleeping with her, her pretending to be a prostitute, him not following their customs, etc.

These are just some of the things I had to read through TWICE to check if I was reading the right thing. (There were even somethings with Jacob and his dealings with his uncle Laban, Abraham and his wives, Noah and his life after the flood, Laban and his tricks — and basically anything and everything that has to do with human deception and imperfections.) If I were to put down all of them, you won’t even care to read through them — it’s going to be way too long.

Of course, the first thing I did when I encountered these was to PRAY. I was lost. I didn’t understand why these would even be recorded, why these were even significant, let alone allowed (in the loose sense of the word.) So I kept asking, and this was what I got:

Son, I am the Alpha and the Omega — I am not bound by anything, especially not by the actions and humanity of My creation. My will has been set way before any of these people even knew who I am. My understanding of things, you will never grasp. Son, all these I’ve placed in My Bible to show you how MY WILL WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL. 

I have great plans for My creations, for people, for you. But of course, you don’t always obey Me. You have your own wills, and I respect that. However, do not for a second even think that your decisions, and your plans, will ever be able to mess up My grand design. Son, everything is still in My control — everything would work out for My glory.

I don’t expect you to be able to comprehend adding all these together — My will, My perfect plan and Sovereignty, your actions, your desires, your sins, the consequences of your sins, the over-all effect of My design, and your individual lives — and have them work together in harmony, a harmony that only I can orchestrate. It’s not that I need your actions to fulfill My plan, it’s that My plan is fulfilled IN SPITE OF your actions.

I did not call you to try and understand Me. I called you to be My saint, to have FAITH in Me.

The world has tons and tons of definition of what FAITH is, for me, it’s but one thing: trusting in what I do not understand. As Hebrews 11:1 puts it,

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Sure, I don’t understand, but one thing I know: He IS IN CONTROL. His sovereignty CANNOT be affected by our humanity.