I’m at it AGAIN

This is probably the third (maybe fourth?) time I’m writing a here’s-to-a-new-start-to-restart-my-blog-and-my-inconsistent-walk-post post. AND hopefully, it’s the LAST ONE!

So here’s a quick update on what’s to come (and what’s up) — prayerfully and Lord willing, of course.

1. I am most definitely EASILY affected by people. A friend of mine just moved to Toronto and he’s started a daily vlog and a blog.

YUP.

That means I am too!

(If you’re reading this, Jon — YES. I am encouraged with what you’ve done/are doing to redo what I said I’d do.)

I’m going to try my best to be more disciplined in my devotions and in my writing, PLUS I’m going to try to get a vlog up every now and then — details to come.

2. Again about being affected by others. Another Malaysian friend just awakened me to a reality I’ve been taking for granted: the fact that I am taking things for granted! Life in North America is a WHOLE lot more convenient, above everything else, and it has affected me in ways I never thought it would. Coming from a third world country, I was different in my pursuit of God … now? In a land where everything is — at the very least — superficially well, it’s been more than very easy to take even God for granted. Time to get more proactive — more so than ever. Lord willing, that means posts with a more deliberate tone in terms of digging into the word, struggling to know more of Jesus, and overall just hungry radical writing — again, LORD WILLING.

3. I was, and now once again am, a sociology student.

There are things I do, see, say, and think just because that is how I am trained in my discipline. Again, a friend of mine posted a note on Facebook (I’ll put a link here — not sure if it’s public, but it’s worth a shot.) and it reminded me of how the world is in dire need of Christians who have a sociological background. Basically, here’s a quick update: I’m a sociology major again (officially)! I just wanted to share that. Hopefully that translates into more socially relevant posts, if not, at least more posts with incorporated sociological imagination. I know there’s a reason why God wants me back in this discipline, and so here I am.

Lastly, I would like to plead my fellow saints to help me on this journey. Yes, I am aware this is most definitely NOT the first time I said this. But, by God’s grace, I pray you won’t give up on me.

I cannot do this alone. I would very much love to have this blog be a way for a community of Saints to commune, grow, and walk with Jesus together. I pray that God will send you to me, and me to you, to bring this about. Let me hear from you! The comments section and the message boards (which I will try to revamp) will be a great start!

God bless!

Manna Faith

A lot of times we hear people say cliches like…

“Have faith!”

“Just trust Him.”

“God will see you through, hold on!”

Awesome advises. They really are.  But I am here to tell you the hard truth: THERE REALLY IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

Often times we say Christianity is a walk, a journey, a struggle, among other things that involve us doing something. Yes, that’s totally true. James does say: “Faith without works is dead.” But the amazing thing about the whole story of grace? Is that it really pertains to, GRACE — UNDESERVED FAVOR.

I am here to tell you, that walking with God is actually more like being carried by Him.

Take this passage for example,

Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.”

Exodus 16:19

As someone who basically grew up in the church, that’s all I need to hear to know that the sentence is from Exodus and is referring to when God provided heavenly bread (manna) to the starving Israelites traveling in the desert.

The people were hungry, God sent them manna. BUT there was a catch — they can only gather enough for the day. No need to store for tomorrow because God will give them what they need for tomorrow tomorrow.

Simple enough instructions right? Especially for the the people who saw …

• Moses turn a staff into a snake and back, become a leper and heal himself, and turn Nile water into blood by pouring it onto the ground. (Exodus 4:1-9; 29-31)
• The whole Nile turn to blood — AND ALL OTHER WATER IN ALL EGYPT (Exodus 7:14-25)
• Frogs, gnats, and flies PLAGUE EGYPT (Exodus 8)
• God strike down ALL the livestock of Egypt. And to prove it’s not just some random epidemic, NONE of the livestock of the Israelites died. (Exodus 9: 1-6)
• God strike both man and beast with boils (Exodus 9: 8-10)
• The INSTANTANEOUS summoning and clearing of a deadly (yeah. it killed stuff) hailstorm (Exodus 9: 13-33)
• A plague of locust that TOTALLY cleared everything they could clear and made Egyptian history as the “WORST LOCUST PLAGUE TO HIT EGYPT EVER” (Exodus 10: 1-18)
• A phenomenon that they can only describe as “Darkness” where NO LIGHT was seen for THREE WHOLE DAYS — a darkness God described as “a darkness so thick you can feel it” (Exodus 10: 21-29)
• A sad and scary event where ALL the firstborn Egyptian males (human and animal alike) DIED while those of the Israelites who observed the Passover slept soundly through the night (Exodus 11 – 12:1-29)
• Their release from captivity! (Exodus 12:31-40)
• A magical GPS device that was a fluffy cloud by day and a fiery pillar (a GPS, a light source, and a heat source!) by night ! (Exodus 13:21)
• THE SPLITTING OF THE RED SEA — A WHOLE SEA! And they walked on completely DRY LAND — COMPLETELY DRY.  Which! Closed off just in time for their pursuers to drown! (Exodus 14: 15-29)
• The first (I think?) water filter that was thrown into a bitter OASIS which — surprise surprise — made it DRINKABLE! (Exodus 15: 22-27)

Okay. Let’s pause here for a minute. That looks to me like a sparkling, over-the-top resume that God built up for Himself!

Right?

In just 10 chapters, God was able to showcase a ton of a lot of things!

BUT!

Let’s go back to the passage awhile ago,

Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.”

Exodus 16:19

Why was that there? It was a way for God to teach His chosen people a lesson: a lesson on faith and trusting Him.

Apparently, even after all the ostentatious display God’s power, the Israelites were not quite faithful enough to believe in God — to trust in Him and have faith that HE IS POWERFUL and CARES FOR THEM!

Exodus 16:20 says,

But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.

The instruction was for them to take only the needed amount for the whole day and trust that God would provide for more the next day. Some Israelites just did not have that kind of faith in God. They had to take matters into their own hands.

It’s in these stories that God’s grace and love is perfectly shown. God had already done enough to prove His power and faithfulness, but He knew not all of His beloved children have learned the lesson yet. So He gave them things like the manna incident to learn.

Faith is not something we can have on our own. That very thing that is require to please God is something that God cultivates in us. We humans are just not capable of that. We are greedy and selfish, trusting people is hard for us — even trusting God. God knows that and that’s why He’s the “author and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2)

So what should we be doing then?

Simple: Obey.

God has put things very plainly for us. Things get complicated because we complicate them with our intellect (that seeks to prove we are better at understanding things than God), our greed (we try to bargain with God and have our own way), and our stubbornness (we just are stubborn.)

Exodus 16:19 was a clear command, obeying it would exercise your faith. Faith is a muscle, the more you exercise it the stronger it becomes. And God is our Trainer — in charge of our diet, our workout routine, and our moral support to keep us going.

What is Your Personal trainer telling you right now?

How do you find out?

SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

How?

Read His word and pray — simple as that.

Idolatry: Big word, small acts.

It’s January 4 — first Friday of 2013 — and God has already warned me of my idolatrous tendencies (or habits).

Listen to the Bible from 1 Kings 11:1-13

Solomon’s Wives

11 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. ² They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. ³ He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.⁴ As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. ⁵ He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. ⁶ So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.

⁷ On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. ⁸ He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods.

⁹ The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice.¹⁰ Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command.¹¹ So the Lord said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. ¹² Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. ¹³ Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen.”

Solomon was the wisest man EVER, the Bible says so, and yet he wasn’t immune to his own humanity. Idolatry is such  a big word, no saint would wanna be labeled “idolatrous.” Yet, the smallest acts, desires, and emotional whims that we do, long for, and cherish embody the word “idolatry” fully.

I hate to admit it, and I hate to confront it even more, but I am probably the most idolatrous person I know. God knows that, and I guess that’s why early this year He’s already cautioning me about it.

That’s the hardest part. I already know it. Like Solomon, I also know of what God wants for me — not totally, but I know the generals well enough. I know of the commandment that says: “You shall have no other gods before Me.” (Exodus 20:3) I know myself well enough to know which things I do are undeniably idolatrous. And like Solomon, I have talked about holding on to God’s commands.

He exclaims this in the presence of his people in 1 Kings 8: 56-61 and says,

⁵⁶ “Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to His people Israel just as He promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises He gave through His servant Moses.⁵⁷ May the Lord our God be with us as He was with our ancestors; may He never leave us nor forsake us. ⁵⁸ May He turn our hearts to Him, to walk in obedience to Him and keep the commands, decrees and laws He gave our ancestors.⁵⁹ And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the Lord, be near to the Lord our God day and night, that He may uphold the cause of His servant and the cause of His people Israel according to each day’s need, ⁶⁰ so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the Lord is God and that there is no other.⁶¹ And may your hearts be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by His decrees and obey His commands, as at this time.”

I’m afraid of how the future might be for me. I really am. Though I should not be, I have to admit I am. I may not be as wise as Solomon, but I am wise enough to see what He wants of me — an undivided heart. I am afraid that like Solomon, despite knowing these, I would still go my way and break His heart.

It makes me wanna put a different spin on the statement “He that is in me, is greater than he that is in the world.” Right now? I’m convicted to declare…

He that is in me is greater than he THAT IS ME.

I am my worst enemy. I bet a lot of you saints out there feel the same way. It’s not that the enemy’s lies are powerful, it’s not that they have power over us beyond what we can deal with — it’s that we have decided to listen to and cherish those lies.

The spirit is willing but the body in indeed weak. YET in all these? We have to remind ourselves that WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM WHO LOVED US .(Rom. 8:37)

By the cross, by Christ’s sacrifice, by His power, by His love, and ultimately by His grace — WE CAN OVERCOME.

I urge you saints to admit your idolatrous ways. Search within and see where you are weakest. AND COMMIT YOURSELF TO PRAYER. We have no power aside from that which is ours through Christ — and we need to tap into that power EVERY MOMENT of our lives. Do not underestimate the power of prayer, and do not discount the need for total humility and submission. In prayer, we surrender ourselves and submit to His power and call for His will to be done.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no position to say I have totally overcome myself. Nor am I in any way better than any of you — remember, I am the prodigal saint, I have a wandering heart that strays way too often. I am talking to you as a brother who cautions and reminds you of what I have been reminded so that together we will overcome.

I guess what I’m trying to say is:

1) Idolatry is a serious issue we better deal with NOW.

2) I am battling it, and I need your prayer and support. 

Honestly, I am thankful for the reminder. Very early in the year God has already cautioned me. I pray that I can hold fast to this reminder though. I pray that His mercy and grace be ever with me as I battle it out with myself.

Just remember, saints, it’s not about being religious and ritually righteous. It’s about having a heart that seeks to love and build a relationship with our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ who came to seek and save us who were lost.

When the Father speaks

Son,

No. I am not happy. Yes, you have sinned against Me. And no, I wasn’t referring to all the laws and commands you’ve broken. I’m referring to you breaking My heart.

I have been with you all these years. I know what you know, not just because I am God, but because I taught you everything you know. I stood by you and sat beside you as you learned everything you know about Me, My word, and My creation. And yes, I am fully aware that all these are not new to you. But son, if anything, we both know you are stubborn. You can know things and still not know them.

Son, I am not happy because you have forsaken Me.

No, I do not care about all your sins. I do not care about them as much as I care about how you and I are.

Son, I am your Father. I do not need your service, I do not need your religious acts, I do not need your righteousness, and I definitely do not need your time. No, son, I only want your love.

I do not care about how much time you spend serving Me. I do not care about how much you know about Me. I do not care about how many songs you can sing for me. I do not care about how many days and hours you give up for Me. I do not care how much luxuries you lose because of following Me. I do not care about how you love Me, I just want you to.

Son, it’s not about working for Me, knowing Me, spending time with Me, and not even serving Me — IT’S ABOUT BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. 

No, you DON’T get it.

I do not want you focused on distancing yourself from the world — I want you focused on drawing closer to ME.

I do not want you focused on how much time you spend with Me and how you spend it — I want you focused on wanting to spend time with Me and actually doing so.

I do not want you focused on how you are to overcome your lusts and weaknesses — I want you focused on how much I love you, how powerful that love is, and how free you are just because I am your Father.

I do not want you focused on building relationships with My other children — I want you focused on how I make relationships for My glory and for your good. 

No, son, I do not want another worshiper to give me lip-service and shower Me with offerings. I want a son who loves Me and does all that out of love.

I’ve given you this statement months back: Ministry is simply the overflow of your love relationship with Me. It is never an end goal in itself. 

What happened to the “Ivan” who took note of that and posted it a few times on the internet?

What happened to the son of mine who wrote down “True humility is not about self-pity — it’s about SIMPLY ACCEPTING what He says and sees in you” after hearing it on the radio?

You’re called the prodigal saint for a reason. Because you have experienced firsthand what MY love feels like. I go running to embrace you EVERY single TIME you come back to Me. I shower you with kisses and hugs every time you come back up from the pig pens. I reinstate you every time you forget your status as MY SON. I give you authority and clothe you with My righteousness every time you forget that I have done it all on the cross. I give you everything that is Mine every time you lose all that you thought you had.

I, My son, am your Alpha and Omega — I am your Dad.

AND. I love you.

Love,

Your Heavenly Father

Ending 2012

Wow. 2012 is over in about 39 minutes! I’m cramming — yet again — to have this post filed under Dec 2012.

I haven’t had any time to do anything lately — Surprise. Surprise. Procrastination is still getting the best of me.

I’m really stumped right now, as far as writing goes. So, I’m going back to one of the most important reasons why I actually started this blog: to keep up a community of Saints.

If you’re reading this, then God has made it so that you are someone I am to share my life with 🙂

Here goes.

A community of Saints should keep each other accountable in prayer, so I’m dumping my prayer list on to YOU! 🙂

(For the most part? It’s just an update of how 2012 was… and what 2013 has in-store for me. :P)

2012 was quite a handful, and here’s why.

1) We (me and my loving family) have finally gone through a FULL year in Canada — January 1, 2012 to December 31, 2012! By His awesome grace, WE SURVIVED!

2) I’m finishing my Associates REAL soon!

3) I got blessed with a job!

4) Still haven’t gotten over laziness and procrastination — did not get to keep up regular posts, did not get to keep up regular quiet time, and have not been as efficient in a lot of things.

5) Getting settled in also includes a LOT of drama.

Oddly, my mind’s really blank. K. I’m blaming being sick for my incoherence. haha.

2012 was a crazy roller coaster for me, ups and downs for EVERYTHING — from my grades, to my consistency with God. In all that though, He remained faithful.

You know how you can’t really point out a lot of instances where your parents were there for you? And yet you wake up every morning and just know that they are? SAME HERE. This saint is having a hard time recalling all the times that God has seen me through throughout 2012. Yet I get this warmth in me just trying to! I just know He’s there. It’s like you rarely feel exhilarated when you breathe, right? It’s cuz oxygen is constantly around you.

Words fail me. YET AGAIN.

I guess this is why sharing (and posting in a blog like this) cannot be procrastinated so much. I remember so many times that I have a TON of things to write about, but I ignored them. Now, I’m trying to make up for all of them — and, I can’t.

It sucks.

It’s annoying to realize that I’ve robbed God of His glory way too many times this year. He’s given me so many chances to write about His amazing Grace, and there I was being lazy.

Lesson learned for 2013: PUT MORE FOCUS ON GOD.

I guess that’s just how I’ll try to be better for the next year (which comes in 20 minutes!).

SIMPLY KEEP FOCUS ON GOD.

When my emotions are all over the place … think of how Jesus can calm every storm.

When the sheer thought of the amount of work paralyzes me … think of what I can do through Christ who strengthens me.

When I become unsure of how I am with people … think of how He sees them and how we’re all connected by His cross.

When I feel lazy to blog … think of how His glory and His works are not being proclaimed.

When I feel neglected and alone … think of how He’s always there.

When I feel unappreciated and ignored … think of how He loves me so and that I am His beloved.

When my world is upside down … think of how I am not of this world.

When I’m filled with glee and bliss … think of how all this is His blessing.

When I feel like going with the world … think of how much He’s suffered to take me back into His presence.

When I feel hurt … think of how His love should comfort me and how His love should flow through me.

When temptation haunts me … think of how I am already victorious by virtue of His blood.

When I feel inadequate … think of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made in HIS image.

When everything’s just going wrong … think of how His plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

I can go on forever with this, and I’m sure YOU could too.

9 minutes till 2013

I pray that I will have this saintly thinking practiced more in the days to come.

I pray that YOU too will keep these in mind.

The new year is not really that big of a deal. As SAINTS, we have to be renewed DAILY and be more like Christ, our Savior and Lord, EVERYDAY.

A blessed New Year to all you Saints out there!

 

The Art of Procrastination

If anything, I believe I’ve mastered the art of procrastination and cramming — if not mastered, then at least I’ve gotten used to them. And I realized, there’s one thing I can’t cram no matter how much I put it off: my relationship with God.

The world is moving so fast — too fast, in fact — and I guess I just got caught up in the flow. With so many things happening, it’s not so hard to say: “Hey, I’m tired, too stressed and overwhelmed with a lot of things. Let’s work tomorrow instead.” It’s so easy to put off things until they can’t be put off anymore and work under extreme pressure and TADA pass with flying colors.

After doing that for years? It’s kind of hard to recognize any other way of doing things — I seriously do not know how to study weeks before an exam, nor work on a research paper months before the due date.

Sadly, I have to admit, it has affected how I am with God, too.

I’ve always had this lie filling me up saying,

“You wanna draw near to God? You wanna know more about Him? You wanna spend time with Him? Well, it’s past 12pm already. You don’t want to just spend half a day with God, right? Just go on YouTube, Facebook, and 9gag. Then wake up early tomorrow so you save the best for God — a whole day of nothing but communion with God!”

Since school ended about two weeks ago, that’s how my mind has been working. Two things SO wrong with that:

1) How can I keep putting off God???

and

2) Why do I believe that a WHOLE day spent with God would renew my Spirit? Why do I believe that ONE WHOLE DAY is enough?

For my term papers, that’s how I’ve done them. Put them off till the last minute, pull an all-nighter, and TADA submit it the next day. It works.*

Same goes for my exams, study the night before, make sure I get enough sleep, and show up to write the exam. It works, too.*

[*It works because God has been really gracious with me.]

If anything, that mentality has carried over to my Sainthood — I’ve been unconsciously believing that closeness with God is something I can achieve with one-time-big-time efforts. It’s like saying, “As long as I work hard on it? Like SUPER HARD? I could accomplish something that should take time to complete.” 

REALITY CHECK!

God wants a relationship, no matter how the world puts it, A RELATIONSHIP CANNOT BE RAILROADED TO COMPLETION. 

A relationship is like a plant — ask any gardener, farmer, or horticulturalist — no matter how miraculous your fertilizers are, IT WILL NEVER BLOSSOM OVERNIGHT. Okay, so I don’t know much about plants, but one thing I’m sure of — magnificent and sturdy trees are not grown overnight.

Spiritual Growth is not some paper or project that we just have to complete and can complete whenever we want — it’s growth, something that has to be worked on DAILY and CONSTANTLY.

The Art of Procrastination is NOT something a SAINT should master and employ in his/her sainthood. We’re working towards an ETERNAL GOAL. We’re serving the KING OF KINGS. We’re cultivating a relationship with the LORD OF LORD.

Can we really take it like“everything else”we have to work on?

Shedding Petals, Growing Leaves

All of my life, in every season, You are still God.

I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

(“Desert Song” — Hillsong United)

I haven’t posted in like forever, and my lovely daughter called me out today for that.

While we were talking, we got into the whole idea of me turning 20 and what growing up meant for the both of us. Turns out, she liked the idea of being seen and known as mature while I didn’t — I liked being a kid, being seen like one.

For the most part, I like the idea of being known as a kid. Kids don’t get judged and scolded a lot, plus, they get praised more for doing “big people stuff.” I’d lose all that when I acknowledge being 20 and start being the adult I’m supposed to be.

Also, I loved being God’s “needy baby.”

While walking down the street though, I saw these beautiful cherry blossom trees (I’m no botanist nor taxonomist, I call then out as I see them on TV. haha) and they were losing their cute pink fluff! The ground was littered with pink petals, and as I gazed up on the tree, I saw a pinkish green hue — the tree was losing its petals to make way for leaves.

Come to think of it, people take care of plants and adore them for their pretty flowers — for the most part, at least. But plants survive and thrive by being at the bottom of the food chain: by being the only creatures capable of producing their own food! They need their leaves, especially green ones; elementary biology would tell you that plants need chlorophyl for photosynthesis. The pretty pink petals can’t do that for the tree…

God designed that particular kind of tree to start of spring pretty in pink, and then grow leaves. Made me realize, sure, God allowed me to relish and enjoy my youth; now, it’s time for me to grow up.

Growing up doesn’t mean independence from God, I realized, it means more responsibilities and tougher choices — translation? TO SURVIVE AS AN ADULT, YOU’D NEED GOD MORE.

So what do I say to turning twenty?

Bring on the years that would allow me to see more of God’s grace, to understand more His unfailing love, and to strengthen me to serve Him better!

Consistency: The Kingdom vs the King

Every now and then I’d add the calendar widget to my blog, just to see how “consistent” I’ve been in posting.

Usually, I do that when I really want to write, but somehow can’t — so I check how many I’ve written for the week and if I could get away with not writing, or if I can let it go and hope something comes to me a few days later.

Now that I think about it? I couldn’t be any further from His heart.

I decided to write this blog, as I’ve repeated countless times, to try and foster a sense of community for Saints everywhere whom God decides to reach through this blog. With that, I’ve always held on to the idea that I will KEEP POSTING AS LONG AS HE KEEPS GIVING SOMETHING TO POST ABOUT.

For about a month that went on AWESOMELY. If you check it out, you can find a day or two when I posted about 2 to 4 blog entries! I was on fire last month. I just started typing away the moment I feel the Spirit stir up something in me to write about — and since it’s the Spirit working? My fingers just kept dancing around on the keys and words kept flowing.

Recently, I’m down to about a post a week. It’s depressing and discouraging to say the least. What’s more? These weekly posts — by some silly standard I don’t really understand but can certainly feel — just don’t seem to be at par with my older ones.

I feel like such a failure. As a writer. As a blogger. And definitely as a Saint.

That last failure category sure struck a cord — Failure as a Saint.

And like any prodigal would do? I tried fixing the problem myself. I didn’t bother seeking God, I was already bothering Him way too much with my school work — this is something He has entrusted to me, and I want to do what I can to show I can be responsible in what He’s given me.

WRONG

As Saints I failed with the only responsibility we’ve been entrusted with — TO LOVE THE LORD MY GOD.

I was minding the kingdom too much, I forgot ITS KING.

There was no way I’d be able to get back  to “my rhythm” in writing JUST BY MY OWN EFFORTS. After all, it’s HIS blog — He won’t let me go on writing WITHOUT HIM.

I realized, I’m not just experiencing a common case of “writer’s block” — my HEART was blocked.

Lately, I’ve been under too much work — a term nearing its end is like having stabbed a snake and have it coil up around you tighter before it lets go of its life. I’ve placed too much focus on what I have to do, and forgot what I OUGHT TO DO.

I am a Saint, I’m called to be in constant communion with Him — nothing more, definitely, nothing LESS.

Why can’t I write? Because I don’t have anything to write about.

Why don’t I have anything to write about? Because I have no source of ideas.

Why don’t I have any sources? BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN AS CLOSE AS I SHOULD BE WITH MY GOD — MY SOURCE OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

Jesus said:

Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15: 4-5)

Apart from Him (Jesus) we can do nothing. I’d personally go further and say, apart from Him, we are NOTHING.

God in His grace has reminded me of this, sure, I have to go through times of drought too — but no season in life would ever trump His promise:

MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. (2 Cor. 12:9a)

TheProdigalSaint’s been called to come back; and all this time he thought he’s been back — apparently, he’s not “home” enough.

God’s love is too stubborn to just let us be average — it won’t stop till we’re fully basking in it.

Sainthood doesn’t include numbness.

It’s in the midst of so much pain and anguish is FAITH really tested.

It’s one thing to try and stand firm when circumstances are pressuring you, it’s definitely another to try and stand firm when you’re battling with things within yourself.

When it’s not about what’s pleasurable, what’s desirable, what’s fun — when the decisions are about dealing with the pain, feeling the burn, and enduring the sting.

It’s in times of dealing with these that our faith is really tested. James’ words ring in my head:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Pure joy. WOW. What a calling.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

God says peace… We all have it in us as saints, we just have to HOLD ON TO IT.

No one said this life would be easy. Diamonds don’t get their luster without pressure for years and strenuous cutting. We Saints too don’t get to become like our Master without any of these trials.

THEREFORE SAINTS,

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Tim. 2:3)

Saint Patrick’s Day

I haven’t been able to post lately, my time management skills have yet to improve. But, I do find time to check my email, and consequently, my subscriptions. So here’s something I really believe would be a great read.

“Saint Patrick: Green Beer Has Nothing To Do With Him”  

is Chief of the Least‘s latest post, and I really liked it and strongly believed I had to share it. (Click on the title to access the post.)

Turns out, I have been missing out way too much — I SHOULD be commemorating St. Patrick’s Day!

God’s grace is painted in an awesome shade of green on this holiday. Green symbolizing growth for Saints everywhere who endure trials and persecution (even from other believers — Saint Patrick had to deal with his superiors’ doubts while being strongly persecuted by some Irish rulers, lawgivers, and commoners) in pursuit of God’s call.