I’m at it AGAIN

This is probably the third (maybe fourth?) time I’m writing a here’s-to-a-new-start-to-restart-my-blog-and-my-inconsistent-walk-post post. AND hopefully, it’s the LAST ONE!

So here’s a quick update on what’s to come (and what’s up) — prayerfully and Lord willing, of course.

1. I am most definitely EASILY affected by people. A friend of mine just moved to Toronto and he’s started a daily vlog and a blog.

YUP.

That means I am too!

(If you’re reading this, Jon — YES. I am encouraged with what you’ve done/are doing to redo what I said I’d do.)

I’m going to try my best to be more disciplined in my devotions and in my writing, PLUS I’m going to try to get a vlog up every now and then — details to come.

2. Again about being affected by others. Another Malaysian friend just awakened me to a reality I’ve been taking for granted: the fact that I am taking things for granted! Life in North America is a WHOLE lot more convenient, above everything else, and it has affected me in ways I never thought it would. Coming from a third world country, I was different in my pursuit of God … now? In a land where everything is — at the very least — superficially well, it’s been more than very easy to take even God for granted. Time to get more proactive — more so than ever. Lord willing, that means posts with a more deliberate tone in terms of digging into the word, struggling to know more of Jesus, and overall just hungry radical writing — again, LORD WILLING.

3. I was, and now once again am, a sociology student.

There are things I do, see, say, and think just because that is how I am trained in my discipline. Again, a friend of mine posted a note on Facebook (I’ll put a link here — not sure if it’s public, but it’s worth a shot.) and it reminded me of how the world is in dire need of Christians who have a sociological background. Basically, here’s a quick update: I’m a sociology major again (officially)! I just wanted to share that. Hopefully that translates into more socially relevant posts, if not, at least more posts with incorporated sociological imagination. I know there’s a reason why God wants me back in this discipline, and so here I am.

Lastly, I would like to plead my fellow saints to help me on this journey. Yes, I am aware this is most definitely NOT the first time I said this. But, by God’s grace, I pray you won’t give up on me.

I cannot do this alone. I would very much love to have this blog be a way for a community of Saints to commune, grow, and walk with Jesus together. I pray that God will send you to me, and me to you, to bring this about. Let me hear from you! The comments section and the message boards (which I will try to revamp) will be a great start!

God bless!

Manna Faith

A lot of times we hear people say cliches like…

“Have faith!”

“Just trust Him.”

“God will see you through, hold on!”

Awesome advises. They really are.  But I am here to tell you the hard truth: THERE REALLY IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

Often times we say Christianity is a walk, a journey, a struggle, among other things that involve us doing something. Yes, that’s totally true. James does say: “Faith without works is dead.” But the amazing thing about the whole story of grace? Is that it really pertains to, GRACE — UNDESERVED FAVOR.

I am here to tell you, that walking with God is actually more like being carried by Him.

Take this passage for example,

Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.”

Exodus 16:19

As someone who basically grew up in the church, that’s all I need to hear to know that the sentence is from Exodus and is referring to when God provided heavenly bread (manna) to the starving Israelites traveling in the desert.

The people were hungry, God sent them manna. BUT there was a catch — they can only gather enough for the day. No need to store for tomorrow because God will give them what they need for tomorrow tomorrow.

Simple enough instructions right? Especially for the the people who saw …

• Moses turn a staff into a snake and back, become a leper and heal himself, and turn Nile water into blood by pouring it onto the ground. (Exodus 4:1-9; 29-31)
• The whole Nile turn to blood — AND ALL OTHER WATER IN ALL EGYPT (Exodus 7:14-25)
• Frogs, gnats, and flies PLAGUE EGYPT (Exodus 8)
• God strike down ALL the livestock of Egypt. And to prove it’s not just some random epidemic, NONE of the livestock of the Israelites died. (Exodus 9: 1-6)
• God strike both man and beast with boils (Exodus 9: 8-10)
• The INSTANTANEOUS summoning and clearing of a deadly (yeah. it killed stuff) hailstorm (Exodus 9: 13-33)
• A plague of locust that TOTALLY cleared everything they could clear and made Egyptian history as the “WORST LOCUST PLAGUE TO HIT EGYPT EVER” (Exodus 10: 1-18)
• A phenomenon that they can only describe as “Darkness” where NO LIGHT was seen for THREE WHOLE DAYS — a darkness God described as “a darkness so thick you can feel it” (Exodus 10: 21-29)
• A sad and scary event where ALL the firstborn Egyptian males (human and animal alike) DIED while those of the Israelites who observed the Passover slept soundly through the night (Exodus 11 – 12:1-29)
• Their release from captivity! (Exodus 12:31-40)
• A magical GPS device that was a fluffy cloud by day and a fiery pillar (a GPS, a light source, and a heat source!) by night ! (Exodus 13:21)
• THE SPLITTING OF THE RED SEA — A WHOLE SEA! And they walked on completely DRY LAND — COMPLETELY DRY.  Which! Closed off just in time for their pursuers to drown! (Exodus 14: 15-29)
• The first (I think?) water filter that was thrown into a bitter OASIS which — surprise surprise — made it DRINKABLE! (Exodus 15: 22-27)

Okay. Let’s pause here for a minute. That looks to me like a sparkling, over-the-top resume that God built up for Himself!

Right?

In just 10 chapters, God was able to showcase a ton of a lot of things!

BUT!

Let’s go back to the passage awhile ago,

Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.”

Exodus 16:19

Why was that there? It was a way for God to teach His chosen people a lesson: a lesson on faith and trusting Him.

Apparently, even after all the ostentatious display God’s power, the Israelites were not quite faithful enough to believe in God — to trust in Him and have faith that HE IS POWERFUL and CARES FOR THEM!

Exodus 16:20 says,

But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.

The instruction was for them to take only the needed amount for the whole day and trust that God would provide for more the next day. Some Israelites just did not have that kind of faith in God. They had to take matters into their own hands.

It’s in these stories that God’s grace and love is perfectly shown. God had already done enough to prove His power and faithfulness, but He knew not all of His beloved children have learned the lesson yet. So He gave them things like the manna incident to learn.

Faith is not something we can have on our own. That very thing that is require to please God is something that God cultivates in us. We humans are just not capable of that. We are greedy and selfish, trusting people is hard for us — even trusting God. God knows that and that’s why He’s the “author and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2)

So what should we be doing then?

Simple: Obey.

God has put things very plainly for us. Things get complicated because we complicate them with our intellect (that seeks to prove we are better at understanding things than God), our greed (we try to bargain with God and have our own way), and our stubbornness (we just are stubborn.)

Exodus 16:19 was a clear command, obeying it would exercise your faith. Faith is a muscle, the more you exercise it the stronger it becomes. And God is our Trainer — in charge of our diet, our workout routine, and our moral support to keep us going.

What is Your Personal trainer telling you right now?

How do you find out?

SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

How?

Read His word and pray — simple as that.

Ending 2012

Wow. 2012 is over in about 39 minutes! I’m cramming — yet again — to have this post filed under Dec 2012.

I haven’t had any time to do anything lately — Surprise. Surprise. Procrastination is still getting the best of me.

I’m really stumped right now, as far as writing goes. So, I’m going back to one of the most important reasons why I actually started this blog: to keep up a community of Saints.

If you’re reading this, then God has made it so that you are someone I am to share my life with 🙂

Here goes.

A community of Saints should keep each other accountable in prayer, so I’m dumping my prayer list on to YOU! 🙂

(For the most part? It’s just an update of how 2012 was… and what 2013 has in-store for me. :P)

2012 was quite a handful, and here’s why.

1) We (me and my loving family) have finally gone through a FULL year in Canada — January 1, 2012 to December 31, 2012! By His awesome grace, WE SURVIVED!

2) I’m finishing my Associates REAL soon!

3) I got blessed with a job!

4) Still haven’t gotten over laziness and procrastination — did not get to keep up regular posts, did not get to keep up regular quiet time, and have not been as efficient in a lot of things.

5) Getting settled in also includes a LOT of drama.

Oddly, my mind’s really blank. K. I’m blaming being sick for my incoherence. haha.

2012 was a crazy roller coaster for me, ups and downs for EVERYTHING — from my grades, to my consistency with God. In all that though, He remained faithful.

You know how you can’t really point out a lot of instances where your parents were there for you? And yet you wake up every morning and just know that they are? SAME HERE. This saint is having a hard time recalling all the times that God has seen me through throughout 2012. Yet I get this warmth in me just trying to! I just know He’s there. It’s like you rarely feel exhilarated when you breathe, right? It’s cuz oxygen is constantly around you.

Words fail me. YET AGAIN.

I guess this is why sharing (and posting in a blog like this) cannot be procrastinated so much. I remember so many times that I have a TON of things to write about, but I ignored them. Now, I’m trying to make up for all of them — and, I can’t.

It sucks.

It’s annoying to realize that I’ve robbed God of His glory way too many times this year. He’s given me so many chances to write about His amazing Grace, and there I was being lazy.

Lesson learned for 2013: PUT MORE FOCUS ON GOD.

I guess that’s just how I’ll try to be better for the next year (which comes in 20 minutes!).

SIMPLY KEEP FOCUS ON GOD.

When my emotions are all over the place … think of how Jesus can calm every storm.

When the sheer thought of the amount of work paralyzes me … think of what I can do through Christ who strengthens me.

When I become unsure of how I am with people … think of how He sees them and how we’re all connected by His cross.

When I feel lazy to blog … think of how His glory and His works are not being proclaimed.

When I feel neglected and alone … think of how He’s always there.

When I feel unappreciated and ignored … think of how He loves me so and that I am His beloved.

When my world is upside down … think of how I am not of this world.

When I’m filled with glee and bliss … think of how all this is His blessing.

When I feel like going with the world … think of how much He’s suffered to take me back into His presence.

When I feel hurt … think of how His love should comfort me and how His love should flow through me.

When temptation haunts me … think of how I am already victorious by virtue of His blood.

When I feel inadequate … think of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made in HIS image.

When everything’s just going wrong … think of how His plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

I can go on forever with this, and I’m sure YOU could too.

9 minutes till 2013

I pray that I will have this saintly thinking practiced more in the days to come.

I pray that YOU too will keep these in mind.

The new year is not really that big of a deal. As SAINTS, we have to be renewed DAILY and be more like Christ, our Savior and Lord, EVERYDAY.

A blessed New Year to all you Saints out there!

 

His eye is on the sparrow — His hand is upon me

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31

Sparrow — Audrey Assad

While randomly watching videos on YouTube, I somehow got to watching this video — and I knew, God wanted to talk, I mean, that He’s talking.

Son, I know you know this. You know full well how much I love you, the hope you have in Me, the Joy I give, and all that stuff. However son, do not forget that these things are CONSTANT — no matter how you feel, it does not, will not, and CANNOT change the fact that I love you, I died for you, I saved you, I’m your strength, your deliverance, your perfect friend, your LOVE. It’s time to start singing again my son.

It’s the time the prodigal saint remembers he’s a SAINT. 

Shedding Petals, Growing Leaves

All of my life, in every season, You are still God.

I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

(“Desert Song” — Hillsong United)

I haven’t posted in like forever, and my lovely daughter called me out today for that.

While we were talking, we got into the whole idea of me turning 20 and what growing up meant for the both of us. Turns out, she liked the idea of being seen and known as mature while I didn’t — I liked being a kid, being seen like one.

For the most part, I like the idea of being known as a kid. Kids don’t get judged and scolded a lot, plus, they get praised more for doing “big people stuff.” I’d lose all that when I acknowledge being 20 and start being the adult I’m supposed to be.

Also, I loved being God’s “needy baby.”

While walking down the street though, I saw these beautiful cherry blossom trees (I’m no botanist nor taxonomist, I call then out as I see them on TV. haha) and they were losing their cute pink fluff! The ground was littered with pink petals, and as I gazed up on the tree, I saw a pinkish green hue — the tree was losing its petals to make way for leaves.

Come to think of it, people take care of plants and adore them for their pretty flowers — for the most part, at least. But plants survive and thrive by being at the bottom of the food chain: by being the only creatures capable of producing their own food! They need their leaves, especially green ones; elementary biology would tell you that plants need chlorophyl for photosynthesis. The pretty pink petals can’t do that for the tree…

God designed that particular kind of tree to start of spring pretty in pink, and then grow leaves. Made me realize, sure, God allowed me to relish and enjoy my youth; now, it’s time for me to grow up.

Growing up doesn’t mean independence from God, I realized, it means more responsibilities and tougher choices — translation? TO SURVIVE AS AN ADULT, YOU’D NEED GOD MORE.

So what do I say to turning twenty?

Bring on the years that would allow me to see more of God’s grace, to understand more His unfailing love, and to strengthen me to serve Him better!

Because meme’s can be for worship too!

 

 

The Prodigal’s Prayer

Among the things I have to boast,
Your presence, I long for the most.
My God to Thee my spirit sings
Of how I’m carried on Your wings.
In pain and strife I turn to You,
Your grace and love makes all things new.
My love, my God, to You I give
And only for You will I live.

Apart from You, my heart and soul
Can never be alive and whole.

-theprodigalsaint

Consistency: The Kingdom vs the King

Every now and then I’d add the calendar widget to my blog, just to see how “consistent” I’ve been in posting.

Usually, I do that when I really want to write, but somehow can’t — so I check how many I’ve written for the week and if I could get away with not writing, or if I can let it go and hope something comes to me a few days later.

Now that I think about it? I couldn’t be any further from His heart.

I decided to write this blog, as I’ve repeated countless times, to try and foster a sense of community for Saints everywhere whom God decides to reach through this blog. With that, I’ve always held on to the idea that I will KEEP POSTING AS LONG AS HE KEEPS GIVING SOMETHING TO POST ABOUT.

For about a month that went on AWESOMELY. If you check it out, you can find a day or two when I posted about 2 to 4 blog entries! I was on fire last month. I just started typing away the moment I feel the Spirit stir up something in me to write about — and since it’s the Spirit working? My fingers just kept dancing around on the keys and words kept flowing.

Recently, I’m down to about a post a week. It’s depressing and discouraging to say the least. What’s more? These weekly posts — by some silly standard I don’t really understand but can certainly feel — just don’t seem to be at par with my older ones.

I feel like such a failure. As a writer. As a blogger. And definitely as a Saint.

That last failure category sure struck a cord — Failure as a Saint.

And like any prodigal would do? I tried fixing the problem myself. I didn’t bother seeking God, I was already bothering Him way too much with my school work — this is something He has entrusted to me, and I want to do what I can to show I can be responsible in what He’s given me.

WRONG

As Saints I failed with the only responsibility we’ve been entrusted with — TO LOVE THE LORD MY GOD.

I was minding the kingdom too much, I forgot ITS KING.

There was no way I’d be able to get back  to “my rhythm” in writing JUST BY MY OWN EFFORTS. After all, it’s HIS blog — He won’t let me go on writing WITHOUT HIM.

I realized, I’m not just experiencing a common case of “writer’s block” — my HEART was blocked.

Lately, I’ve been under too much work — a term nearing its end is like having stabbed a snake and have it coil up around you tighter before it lets go of its life. I’ve placed too much focus on what I have to do, and forgot what I OUGHT TO DO.

I am a Saint, I’m called to be in constant communion with Him — nothing more, definitely, nothing LESS.

Why can’t I write? Because I don’t have anything to write about.

Why don’t I have anything to write about? Because I have no source of ideas.

Why don’t I have any sources? BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN AS CLOSE AS I SHOULD BE WITH MY GOD — MY SOURCE OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

Jesus said:

Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15: 4-5)

Apart from Him (Jesus) we can do nothing. I’d personally go further and say, apart from Him, we are NOTHING.

God in His grace has reminded me of this, sure, I have to go through times of drought too — but no season in life would ever trump His promise:

MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. (2 Cor. 12:9a)

TheProdigalSaint’s been called to come back; and all this time he thought he’s been back — apparently, he’s not “home” enough.

God’s love is too stubborn to just let us be average — it won’t stop till we’re fully basking in it.

Sainthood doesn’t include numbness.

It’s in the midst of so much pain and anguish is FAITH really tested.

It’s one thing to try and stand firm when circumstances are pressuring you, it’s definitely another to try and stand firm when you’re battling with things within yourself.

When it’s not about what’s pleasurable, what’s desirable, what’s fun — when the decisions are about dealing with the pain, feeling the burn, and enduring the sting.

It’s in times of dealing with these that our faith is really tested. James’ words ring in my head:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Pure joy. WOW. What a calling.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

God says peace… We all have it in us as saints, we just have to HOLD ON TO IT.

No one said this life would be easy. Diamonds don’t get their luster without pressure for years and strenuous cutting. We Saints too don’t get to become like our Master without any of these trials.

THEREFORE SAINTS,

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Tim. 2:3)

Your Grace is ENOUGH

Too many days have passed since I last got to write a post — and I feel awful. Spring is almost here (snowed AGAIN this morning — YEY) and for university students? That means TERM PAPERS AND FINAL EXAMS are all underway.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 reads:

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Easier said than done, believe me, I know! BUT. It’s not that hard when you see how God actually brings you through it.

I am in university, and have been here for about a year now (well, I had two years back in the Philippines and now it’s my first year university in Canada) and I can honestly say?

I HAVE NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT — “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” (2 Cor. 11:30)

If I were to show you my grades right now, I won’t be kidding — they’re STELLAR. But, I can honestly say IT’S ALL A PRODUCT OF GRACE.

Okay, so you might think this as false humility? But let me tell of how the story has been recently.

I’m taking a Political Science course this term, and since I’ve only been in Canada for about 8 months, I KNOW NOTHING OF CANADIAN POLITICAL STUFF — yes, even the current events related stuff. I have no idea why I’m in this class, but it’s already past the deadline for dropping courses, so I have to live with it.

We have to write a term paper for that class, and as expected, all the topics are specifics on anything Canadian. None of the essay questions made sense to me, except for the one that seemed broad enough — one on Economic Inequality. So I went with that.

I thought I was all set. But boy, was I ever wrong. Days passed and I still couldn’t get my head around the topic. It was too alien to make any sense to me. AND YES. I am such a lazy kid. Research should have solved my problems right? But I had this idea that there’s too much to know about and too little time? So I was more tired thinking about it than actually doing it.

Yes, you’ve guess it — I MISSED MY DEADLINE.

Well, technically, I did not miss it. I went to my professor on the day of submission and told him I could not submit my paper in-class that day — after staring at a blank Miscrosoft Word screen till 3am, I decided to give up.

I kept praying, but I wasn’t hoping for much; I know it’s my fault, these are the consequences of my actions.

The next turn of events blew my mind — my professor was all kind and accommodating, and he did NOT force me to submit. He gave me until Saturday 5pm to submit my paper (the deadline was Wednesday 10am, in-class). Moreover? There’s supposed to be a 5% penalty for EVERY day late, BUT he spared me from that, he gave me a FLAT 5% deduction for being 3 days late! To add? He even helped me with where my paper was going!!!

Forget mountains, my God moves deadlines!

For all my university life, if not my WHOLE life — academia or otherwise, God has been so gracious to me. I’ve always told my friends: I’m God’s needy baby.

I’m a cry-baby who’s so dependent on His father — way too dependent at times. My stellar grades? Are really all just products of His grace. I do not work as hard as I should be, and I feel the consequences of that; but He’s never let me down — especially when I DO NOT EVEN DESERVE TO BE HELD UP.

GRACE

It really is UNDESERVED FAVOR.

Nothing spells SALVATION more than GRACE and LOVE.

God loves us SO much, He gave us love SO UNDESERVED, we can only vaguely call it “grace.”

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Cor. 12:9)

If I were to detail here how many times HIS GRACE came through for me in my 19years of existence? WordPress would overload and I’d have to skip school for the next 38years — spending two years writing for every year I lived.

God has really been gracious enough for me to even know of this and recognize His handy work.

The idea that God has a plan? And we just have to trust in His faithfulness? Are all too cliche to use to console people — CLICHE BUT DEFINITELY TRUE.