I’m at it AGAIN

This is probably the third (maybe fourth?) time I’m writing a here’s-to-a-new-start-to-restart-my-blog-and-my-inconsistent-walk-post post. AND hopefully, it’s the LAST ONE!

So here’s a quick update on what’s to come (and what’s up) — prayerfully and Lord willing, of course.

1. I am most definitely EASILY affected by people. A friend of mine just moved to Toronto and he’s started a daily vlog and a blog.

YUP.

That means I am too!

(If you’re reading this, Jon — YES. I am encouraged with what you’ve done/are doing to redo what I said I’d do.)

I’m going to try my best to be more disciplined in my devotions and in my writing, PLUS I’m going to try to get a vlog up every now and then — details to come.

2. Again about being affected by others. Another Malaysian friend just awakened me to a reality I’ve been taking for granted: the fact that I am taking things for granted! Life in North America is a WHOLE lot more convenient, above everything else, and it has affected me in ways I never thought it would. Coming from a third world country, I was different in my pursuit of God … now? In a land where everything is — at the very least — superficially well, it’s been more than very easy to take even God for granted. Time to get more proactive — more so than ever. Lord willing, that means posts with a more deliberate tone in terms of digging into the word, struggling to know more of Jesus, and overall just hungry radical writing — again, LORD WILLING.

3. I was, and now once again am, a sociology student.

There are things I do, see, say, and think just because that is how I am trained in my discipline. Again, a friend of mine posted a note on Facebook (I’ll put a link here — not sure if it’s public, but it’s worth a shot.) and it reminded me of how the world is in dire need of Christians who have a sociological background. Basically, here’s a quick update: I’m a sociology major again (officially)! I just wanted to share that. Hopefully that translates into more socially relevant posts, if not, at least more posts with incorporated sociological imagination. I know there’s a reason why God wants me back in this discipline, and so here I am.

Lastly, I would like to plead my fellow saints to help me on this journey. Yes, I am aware this is most definitely NOT the first time I said this. But, by God’s grace, I pray you won’t give up on me.

I cannot do this alone. I would very much love to have this blog be a way for a community of Saints to commune, grow, and walk with Jesus together. I pray that God will send you to me, and me to you, to bring this about. Let me hear from you! The comments section and the message boards (which I will try to revamp) will be a great start!

God bless!

An Unnatural Natural

We live in a world where there is always arguments on what’s “natural” and what’s “not.” It’s a big deal for people to find out if a disease or a calamity is of “natural causes” or were somehow fabricated by men. We make a big deal of what is normal.

Well, as saints, we’re NOT natural.

We saints are to “not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. ” (Romans 12:2a) Whatever is considered “normal” by the world, we do not simply “accept.” We’re to be a new kind of natural.

The apostle Paul talks more about this unnatural natural in his letter to the Ephesians. In Ephesians 4, he starts out by saying,

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Eph. 4:1)

Here’s the first unnatural natural principle: We are prisoners. 

At this time, Paul was writing from prison. So yeah, he was literally a prisoner for Christ. Paul’s era wasn’t really the kindest to Christians. But he emphasizes a  different kind of captivity when he quoted Psalm 68 in verses 7 and 8

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:

“When He ascended on high,
He took many captives
and gave gifts to His people.”

(Eph. 4:7-8)

He talks about Christ giving us grace, and then says He took many “captives” a.k.a PRISONERS.

Yes, Paul is calling us prisoners. And talks about it in an as-a-matter-of-factly kind of way — like it was the way it was supposed to be! AND IT IS.

I always talk about Christianity as a relationship and NOT a religion, and that’s what Paul is illustrating here. Come to think of it, there are two ways of actually being a captive:

1) To actually be forcefully taken in as a prisoner (say you’re caught by the police, or taken hostage by an enemy group, etc)

and

2) To be fully in-love with someone (or something) that it’s taken over you.

Think of all the movies you’ve seen — especially the cheesy lovey-dovey ones. There is always that idea of losing yourself to the one you love. It’s like you’re a slave to them. Not because they lord over you, but simply because you love them SO much you WANT to serve them and be together with them.

I am pretty sure, of all generalizations, this is one I can actually make — we have all been captivated by something (or someone) one way or another. We throw around the word love a LOT —

“I love Twilight”

“I love Bieber”

“I love Pokemon”

“I love her”

“I love him”

“I love basketball”

“I love shopping”

etc.

Somehow, sometime in your life you’ve uttered these words. And by saying any of these, you ARE being a prisoner of that thing that follows the word “love.”

The world puts SO much emphasis on being against captivity. It’s unnatural to WANT to be under the rule of someone. But let’s face it, we ALL have been somehow. And that’s what Jesus wants: For us to be in-love with Him — He wants us captivated by Him.

Paul furthers this illustration in verses 15 and 16,

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” (Eph. 4:15, 16)

We’re not the typical kinds of captives who are simply slaves — we are PART OF HIM.

Raise your hands. Your eye brows. Close your eyes. Stand up. Sit down. Jump up. Now sit back down with your legs crossed and your hands steady on your lap.

Every last inch of your body is a captive to you. And I do not think anyone of you would want it any other way. I sure don’t want a hand that won’t obey me. So yeah. Your body is your slave. But think about it, when your tummy aches, your whole body feels it. When you’re down with the flu, you hate it. When you get bruises or cuts, you’re unhappy. Let’s face it, we love our bodies. 

When Paul calls us captives, he had that analogy in mind. That of one body, and as he said in verse 15 our head is Christ. We are one with Him as His beloved children. And as part of His body, we are His captives.

Speaking of the body, here’s the second unnatural natural principle: We are to be united as a body with One head.

Okay, a united body isn’t as unnatural as the first idea of being prisoners. But think about it. A body whose parts are other human beings who each has their own will and their own ideas — ALL EXPECTED TO BE TOGETHER AND OPERATE AS SEAMLESSLY AS A BIOLOGICAL BODY SHOULD. Think of your local church for example, every week  (at least once) you come to church and fellowship with these strangers. You see the same people every week but none of you are related in any sort of earthly way, and YET you’re all expected to be “family.”

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Eph. 4:2-3)

Paul says we should, as Christians, bear with one another in love. As part of one body, we’re not just to be in love with Christ — we are called to love ALL the other parts of the body!  Sure, the world does see unity as something we should all strive for, but no one in their right mind would tell you to love everyone. And yet, we Saints are expected to do so. The church in actuality is one of the most unnatural human relationships we are ever going to encounter. Total strangers coming together and “loving” each other. That’s just not normal! So if it’s not, why are we charged to do so?

Paul explains in the following verses,

“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Eph. 4:4-6)

We are called to be in loving unity with each other because WE SERVE ONE GOD. 

We are one body — a body with parts that do not love each other will NOT be able to function properly.

We have one Spirit — as Christians, we all share the same privilege of having the Holy Spirit in us. To teach, help, and guide us. It’s just logical and to expect people with the same Spirit in them to be at peace with each other.

We have one hope — we all are hoping for one thing: SALVATION aka “an eternity in heaven.” ie. We WOULD ALL BE SPENDING ETERNITY TOGETHER, shouldn’t we start getting along NOW??

We have one Lord — we serve the same Lord, and if He wants us to love each other… uhh… Shouldn’t we do so?

We have one faith — we all believe in one thing — JESUS. And if we’re all in love with one thing, we should be able to love each other. What do you think fan clubs are made of? They all share the same love for someone or something, and they end up bonding together.

We have one baptism — Oxford defines baptism as a “an act or a ceremony,” a bible dictionary takes it further and say it is “a public way of breaking with one’s past life and beginning a new one.” PUBLIC — it’s a public declaration, we tell the world and everyone who witnesses our baptism that WE SERVE JESUS! And if we serve a God of love, we should show love.  First to Him, then to other Christians, then to everyone else!

We have one God and Father of all — our God is not a normal God either, He’s not just a “god” who rules over people, He’s a God who calls us HIS CHILDREN. Okay, this one, even the world would agree — if we are all brothers and sisters, then DUHH we SHOULD be loving each other.

Last unnatural natural principle Paul gives us in Ephesians is this: We are called.

Our God is, again, not really the typical God. He calls us — He doesn’t force us into anything.

Going back to verse one, Paul says:

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Eph 4:1)

We received a call.

There are two different calls that we can pick out from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.

1) We are called into loving Him and being His children — everyone is called to be His children, God wants us all to be saved.

Paul “urges us to live a life worthy of the calling,” simply put, he’s saying: You were called into salvation, now live like you have received it.

2) We, Saints, are called to different positions too.

Going back to the idea of Christians making up the body of Christ, we cannot ALL be eyes. Paul talks about this in his letter to another church — the one in Corinth. He says,

“If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” (1 Corinthians 12:17-20)

God did design our earthly bodies — He made us with a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, 4 limbs, a head, etc etc. So it’s just logical that He would want His body — the church — to be likewise.

That’s the second kind of call that Paul’s talking about. We are called to be different things. One body, many parts. 

He talks about 4 specific calls in verses 11-13 of chapter 4,

“So Christ Himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,to equip His people for works of service, so that the body of Christ  may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Eph. 4:11-13)

In Paul’s other letters, he enumerates some more positions that God calls us to — not everyone is going to be called to be a prophet, an evangelist, a teacher, or an apostle —  but the idea is basically that we are called to different roles for the same purpose — to build up the Body of Christ until we all reach unity in the faith. 

What’s so unnatural about the idea of being called? Well, like any calls you make it can either be rejected or accepted.  Jesus is calling us into a love-relationship with Him. He’s calling everyone. But not everyone answers. Same thing too, us Saints, not all of us have answered His other call — some of us don’t even know what it is.

I wanna just end this with Paul’s own words:

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. — Remember that you are called, called to a relationship, called to a unified body, and called to service.

Saints, it’s time to pick up the “phone” and become naturally unnatural.

Hunger, Dating, Food, and Love

Since 2013 started, I’ve been trying to reorganize a number of things in my life, and at the top of that list is devotion/quiet time with the Lover of my soul.

I’ve heard it all (more or less … probably less) from people saying it should be done daily, every other day, once a week, twice a week, thrice a week, once a month, thrice a month, once every two weeks, etc etc etc. And I think I’ve tried most of it too — daily, weekly, and irregularly.

Back to my knees for 2013: “Lord, tell me. How often should I be doing my quiet time?”

Answer came in clear, it’s not the how often it’s the why.

I used to think of daily devotions, bible reading, praying, and allotting specific quiet times for God as spiritual disciplines. Well, they really are. But doing them as a form of religious and traditional rituals will burn you out and would not really result into anything.

When I realized that Christianity was a love relationship, devo time became something you long for — not something you HAVE to do.

Over time, I came to think of doing quiet time and devotions as me “hanging out” or “going on a date” with Jesus Himself. Sure, it got me doing my daily devotions. It got me to give a lot of thought to what I was doing. Suddenly, reading the bible and praying were not religious acts anymore — they were simply me communing with my Heavenly Father.

I love this perspective. I love the idea of being in love with Love Himself. I always emphasize that Christianity is a love relationship and not a religion mainly because of this too. However, I found a downside to all these. Seeing my quiet time as a date with God made me not so keen about doing it. The more I focus on the idea of hanging out with God, the less I actually did. My human nature kicked in, it came with whispers saying: “You know how dates are about quality and not quantity? Well, same goes for your time with God. It’s about the quality of the time you spend with Him, not how much you actually have for Him.” Sure. There is some truth to that, but it drastically decreased my desire to spend time reading His word and quieting down before Him — from daily, I reduced it to once a week.

This morning I got reminded of another aspect of spending time with God; while it is about a love relationship and spending time with God, it’s also about being nourished and fed.

While having my late lunch today, I was SO hungry that while eating I prayed in my heart saying:

“Wow, Lord! Thanks for food and the comfort it brings — actually, scratch that! Thank You for hunger and for the ability to feel it and enjoy food because of it!” 

And then it hit me. Doing daily devotions and quiet time isn’t simply for spending time with God — it is actually more for US than it is for Him! I believe He wants us to be engaged in His word and in communion with Him daily for our feeding. We are no strangers to hunger, but often we are not sensitive to how hungry our souls are.

We do not neglect to eat (for the most part at least). But only a few of us are actually eating RIGHT. Eating the right food, in the right amounts, and on right times. I have a body-builder friend and here’s a status update I got from her FB page:

When I’m on diet, I am strictly on diet mode. I control and stay away from unhealthy food. I don’t go for crash diet for it will decrease my metabolism rate. I still eat but in moderation. … I am telling you now, I will not eat any food other than my home-cooked-packed meal. What I eat during the day is almost strictly calculated in grams in terms of carbohydrates, protein and fats.

–KMACL

It’s all about knowing what to eat and when to eat. A healthy person eats regularly, something like 6 SMALL meals spaced out evenly in the day. They eat often, but they watch what they eat and moderate what goes into their bodies. Same should go for our spiritual bodies: we should eat regularly, moderate what goes into our bodies, and ensure a healthy regimen. 

It’s not about ritualistically being righteous — I AM AGAINST THAT.

It’s about feeding ourselves regularly with the right kind of food: God’s word.

We should be eating regularly: we should be doing devotions regularly.

We should be eating right: we should always feed on God’s word — NO SUBSTITUTES!

God loves us, He proved that on the cross and on so many other occasions. Spending time with Him in bible reading, quiet time, and/or devotion time, is our way of loving Him back, letting Him love us more, and growing in Him.

AND! Most importantly!

Spiritual things (though are usually similar to natural, physical, and earthly things) operate differently — YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH TIME WITH GOD, TOO MUCH COMMUNION WITH HIM, OR TOO MUCH FEEDING FROM HIM.

Ending 2012

Wow. 2012 is over in about 39 minutes! I’m cramming — yet again — to have this post filed under Dec 2012.

I haven’t had any time to do anything lately — Surprise. Surprise. Procrastination is still getting the best of me.

I’m really stumped right now, as far as writing goes. So, I’m going back to one of the most important reasons why I actually started this blog: to keep up a community of Saints.

If you’re reading this, then God has made it so that you are someone I am to share my life with 🙂

Here goes.

A community of Saints should keep each other accountable in prayer, so I’m dumping my prayer list on to YOU! 🙂

(For the most part? It’s just an update of how 2012 was… and what 2013 has in-store for me. :P)

2012 was quite a handful, and here’s why.

1) We (me and my loving family) have finally gone through a FULL year in Canada — January 1, 2012 to December 31, 2012! By His awesome grace, WE SURVIVED!

2) I’m finishing my Associates REAL soon!

3) I got blessed with a job!

4) Still haven’t gotten over laziness and procrastination — did not get to keep up regular posts, did not get to keep up regular quiet time, and have not been as efficient in a lot of things.

5) Getting settled in also includes a LOT of drama.

Oddly, my mind’s really blank. K. I’m blaming being sick for my incoherence. haha.

2012 was a crazy roller coaster for me, ups and downs for EVERYTHING — from my grades, to my consistency with God. In all that though, He remained faithful.

You know how you can’t really point out a lot of instances where your parents were there for you? And yet you wake up every morning and just know that they are? SAME HERE. This saint is having a hard time recalling all the times that God has seen me through throughout 2012. Yet I get this warmth in me just trying to! I just know He’s there. It’s like you rarely feel exhilarated when you breathe, right? It’s cuz oxygen is constantly around you.

Words fail me. YET AGAIN.

I guess this is why sharing (and posting in a blog like this) cannot be procrastinated so much. I remember so many times that I have a TON of things to write about, but I ignored them. Now, I’m trying to make up for all of them — and, I can’t.

It sucks.

It’s annoying to realize that I’ve robbed God of His glory way too many times this year. He’s given me so many chances to write about His amazing Grace, and there I was being lazy.

Lesson learned for 2013: PUT MORE FOCUS ON GOD.

I guess that’s just how I’ll try to be better for the next year (which comes in 20 minutes!).

SIMPLY KEEP FOCUS ON GOD.

When my emotions are all over the place … think of how Jesus can calm every storm.

When the sheer thought of the amount of work paralyzes me … think of what I can do through Christ who strengthens me.

When I become unsure of how I am with people … think of how He sees them and how we’re all connected by His cross.

When I feel lazy to blog … think of how His glory and His works are not being proclaimed.

When I feel neglected and alone … think of how He’s always there.

When I feel unappreciated and ignored … think of how He loves me so and that I am His beloved.

When my world is upside down … think of how I am not of this world.

When I’m filled with glee and bliss … think of how all this is His blessing.

When I feel like going with the world … think of how much He’s suffered to take me back into His presence.

When I feel hurt … think of how His love should comfort me and how His love should flow through me.

When temptation haunts me … think of how I am already victorious by virtue of His blood.

When I feel inadequate … think of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made in HIS image.

When everything’s just going wrong … think of how His plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

I can go on forever with this, and I’m sure YOU could too.

9 minutes till 2013

I pray that I will have this saintly thinking practiced more in the days to come.

I pray that YOU too will keep these in mind.

The new year is not really that big of a deal. As SAINTS, we have to be renewed DAILY and be more like Christ, our Savior and Lord, EVERYDAY.

A blessed New Year to all you Saints out there!

 

What is Faith? (Through Joshua’s Eyes)

1. It is going into a land flowing with milk and honey, a land with grapevines too huge for one person to carry, a land of fortified cities and humongous people and coming out saying: “Let’s conquer it! It’s God’s promise land!” (Numbers 13 – 14:1-38)

Joshua was to lead the people of God into the Promise Land — Moses sinned against God and lost his privilege to enter the land — and even before he was tasked with the job of leading the Nation of Israel, he showcased unwavering trust in his God.

Growing up in church, I’ve always despised how foolish the Israelites were to doubt God’s supremacy in delivering to them a land that has been promised to their ancestors — way before they were in Egypt. Also, it never made sense to me how the people who lived through the 10 Plagues (Exodus 7-11), saw the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14), had quail and bread miraculously rain down on them IN THE DESERT (Exodus 16),  drank water that was turned sweet by a piece of wood (Exodus 15:22-27), drank water that came from a rock (Exodus 17:1-7, Numbers 20:1-13), had God guide them through a “magical” pillar of cloud and pillar of fire (Exodus 13:21-22), among others, COULD ALL OF A SUDDEN FORGET HOW GREAT THEIR GOD IS!

Sadly, we, Saints, usually end up forgetting the amazing feats God has shown us, too. It’s just so much easier to see what’s in front of us and forget that there is a God waiting for us to simply trust Him! 

What giant infested cities are you faced with conquering right now? Take it from Joshua, our God is SO MUCH BIGGER!

2. It is getting a whole nation to cross a HUGE RIVER at its FLOOD STAGE and letting the priests — not the more able bodied men who would have had better chances of surviving the rapids — to step into the waters first. (Joshua 3)

When the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, the Lord parted the waters FIRST before having them advance; however, when He wanted them to cross the flooding Jordan River, He did not part the waters UNTIL the priests stepped into them.

There is no other way to please God but through FAITH.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

How much do you trust God to part the waters for you? Would you take the step into the raging waters and trust that when He said He’d allow you to cross, you would be able to cross?

The Israelites were people who rarely got their feet wet — they crossed the Red Sea ON DRY LAND and the Jordan River ON DRY LAND, too!

I’ve come to see life and the world as a scary Jordan River that I have to cross.

Why won’t it be scary? You have to worry about what career to pursue, where to get the money to pursue that, how to pursue it (do I just study? do I work? do I get volunteer experiences? do I pump my CV up with hectic extra-curricular stuff?).  First you worry about getting into a good school, then you worry about grades, then you realize grades aren’t enough, you start thinking about things to add to your resume, then you think of what to do after university, and you realize you need further studies, but that you also need more experience, and you need money to study and get experience  … and the list goes on and on and on.

What did God tell me?

“Son, just cross the river. Just GO!”

He’d part the waters for me.

Besides, for a nation in conquest of the Promise Land, the Jordan River was the LEAST of their problems — likewise, we, as Saints, are to fulfill a higher calling, the world and all it’s “important” things are the least of our concerns. 

3. It’s leading a nation of desert-wandering freed slaves to conquer a FORTIFIED CITY. No military men, just desert-wanderers. (Joshua 6)

It’s one thing to conquer a city, it’s another to LEAD inexperienced people to conquer it with you. Joshua was not only a soldier in God’s army, he was a commander and a leader. He was tasked to LEAD A WHOLE NATION.

The mistakes and the falls that he might encounter will not only affect him, it will affect ALL of Israel.

Talk about pressure!

But in all these, he stood firm. Not because he was a great man, but because he had a GREAT GOD.

A God that did not lack in encouragement. In Joshua 1 alone, God told Joshua FOUR TIMES to “Be strong and courageous!”

Not to mention, He also said: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)

He was fully set with God by his side.

4. It’s fighting your first battle in the Promise Land with priests in the front lines and trumpets and lung-bursting shouts as your main artillery — again, no advanced military weaponry nor training, and same fortified city. (Joshua 6)

They destroyed Jericho, conquered it, and took over it in the name of the Lord — all by marching around it for 7 days, trumpet sounds, and shouts.

No order was too ridiculous for Joshua to obey, he knew where he had his faith placed. 

They had their first victory ENTIRELY by trusting God and obeying Him — FAITH to conquer all — ’nuff said!

5. It’s having a “When I say jump, you JUMP” mentality — hearing from God every step of the way and simply carrying out orders. (Jos. 1:1, 3:7, 4:1, 4:15, 5:2, 5:9, 6:2 … and so on)

In Joshua chapters 1 to 6, the Bible records SEVEN phrases that said: “The Lord said to Joshua,” In all seven, there was no special mention that he retreated to a mountain top, or locked himself up in his tent, etc — nope, it was written as though God was simply with him and told him things like normal people would! 

Well, God did say that He will be with him ALWAYS, like how He was with Moses. God kept His promise — like He always does. And Joshua listened.

It’s important to note that in the Old Testament, God’s relationship with His people was that of a GOD and a PEOPLE who worshiped Him and belonged to Him. He was a KING, the people were His servants — it’s a pretty impersonal relationship, BUT we see how intimate people like Joshua are to Him.

If Joshua could be so certain of God’s commands, His presence, and His deliverance — HOW MUCH MORE WE, SAINTS?

Joshua was a military leader, a conqueror through a God who delivers. We?

We’re MORE THAN CONQUERORS through HIM who LOVED us so.

As Saints, we are BOUGHT by Jesus’s precious blood and are given the privilege to call God our FATHER — the Israelites in the Old Testament would shudder at the thought of addressing such an awesome Being with intimate names like “Father” and “Lover.”

We are co-heirs of Christ in the promise of eternal life — we are no longer just His servants, we are His FRIENDS; we are no longer just His people, we are His children. 

Think about what that means; with such intimacy, why can’t we exercise faith like Joshua?

We serve the same God, we share the same promise of His constant presence and His help, and we even have it better than Joshua — we have a LOVE relationship with Him! Why can’t we fulfill the same calling to be consecrated and set-apart for Him?

Saints, Joshua led the Israelites in the way of the Lord. They lived as a nation set-apart from the rest of the world. We have that same calling. The glory, fame, and victories they enjoyed were mere by-products of them seeking God first.

Every victory came from obedience, fame and glory came as bonuses for being faithful — God does not want us to focus on this world, but ON HIM — we’re simply transients on this world, we’re CITIZENS of HEAVEN.

The Art of Procrastination

If anything, I believe I’ve mastered the art of procrastination and cramming — if not mastered, then at least I’ve gotten used to them. And I realized, there’s one thing I can’t cram no matter how much I put it off: my relationship with God.

The world is moving so fast — too fast, in fact — and I guess I just got caught up in the flow. With so many things happening, it’s not so hard to say: “Hey, I’m tired, too stressed and overwhelmed with a lot of things. Let’s work tomorrow instead.” It’s so easy to put off things until they can’t be put off anymore and work under extreme pressure and TADA pass with flying colors.

After doing that for years? It’s kind of hard to recognize any other way of doing things — I seriously do not know how to study weeks before an exam, nor work on a research paper months before the due date.

Sadly, I have to admit, it has affected how I am with God, too.

I’ve always had this lie filling me up saying,

“You wanna draw near to God? You wanna know more about Him? You wanna spend time with Him? Well, it’s past 12pm already. You don’t want to just spend half a day with God, right? Just go on YouTube, Facebook, and 9gag. Then wake up early tomorrow so you save the best for God — a whole day of nothing but communion with God!”

Since school ended about two weeks ago, that’s how my mind has been working. Two things SO wrong with that:

1) How can I keep putting off God???

and

2) Why do I believe that a WHOLE day spent with God would renew my Spirit? Why do I believe that ONE WHOLE DAY is enough?

For my term papers, that’s how I’ve done them. Put them off till the last minute, pull an all-nighter, and TADA submit it the next day. It works.*

Same goes for my exams, study the night before, make sure I get enough sleep, and show up to write the exam. It works, too.*

[*It works because God has been really gracious with me.]

If anything, that mentality has carried over to my Sainthood — I’ve been unconsciously believing that closeness with God is something I can achieve with one-time-big-time efforts. It’s like saying, “As long as I work hard on it? Like SUPER HARD? I could accomplish something that should take time to complete.” 

REALITY CHECK!

God wants a relationship, no matter how the world puts it, A RELATIONSHIP CANNOT BE RAILROADED TO COMPLETION. 

A relationship is like a plant — ask any gardener, farmer, or horticulturalist — no matter how miraculous your fertilizers are, IT WILL NEVER BLOSSOM OVERNIGHT. Okay, so I don’t know much about plants, but one thing I’m sure of — magnificent and sturdy trees are not grown overnight.

Spiritual Growth is not some paper or project that we just have to complete and can complete whenever we want — it’s growth, something that has to be worked on DAILY and CONSTANTLY.

The Art of Procrastination is NOT something a SAINT should master and employ in his/her sainthood. We’re working towards an ETERNAL GOAL. We’re serving the KING OF KINGS. We’re cultivating a relationship with the LORD OF LORD.

Can we really take it like“everything else”we have to work on?

Shedding Petals, Growing Leaves

All of my life, in every season, You are still God.

I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

(“Desert Song” — Hillsong United)

I haven’t posted in like forever, and my lovely daughter called me out today for that.

While we were talking, we got into the whole idea of me turning 20 and what growing up meant for the both of us. Turns out, she liked the idea of being seen and known as mature while I didn’t — I liked being a kid, being seen like one.

For the most part, I like the idea of being known as a kid. Kids don’t get judged and scolded a lot, plus, they get praised more for doing “big people stuff.” I’d lose all that when I acknowledge being 20 and start being the adult I’m supposed to be.

Also, I loved being God’s “needy baby.”

While walking down the street though, I saw these beautiful cherry blossom trees (I’m no botanist nor taxonomist, I call then out as I see them on TV. haha) and they were losing their cute pink fluff! The ground was littered with pink petals, and as I gazed up on the tree, I saw a pinkish green hue — the tree was losing its petals to make way for leaves.

Come to think of it, people take care of plants and adore them for their pretty flowers — for the most part, at least. But plants survive and thrive by being at the bottom of the food chain: by being the only creatures capable of producing their own food! They need their leaves, especially green ones; elementary biology would tell you that plants need chlorophyl for photosynthesis. The pretty pink petals can’t do that for the tree…

God designed that particular kind of tree to start of spring pretty in pink, and then grow leaves. Made me realize, sure, God allowed me to relish and enjoy my youth; now, it’s time for me to grow up.

Growing up doesn’t mean independence from God, I realized, it means more responsibilities and tougher choices — translation? TO SURVIVE AS AN ADULT, YOU’D NEED GOD MORE.

So what do I say to turning twenty?

Bring on the years that would allow me to see more of God’s grace, to understand more His unfailing love, and to strengthen me to serve Him better!

The Prodigal’s Prayer

Among the things I have to boast,
Your presence, I long for the most.
My God to Thee my spirit sings
Of how I’m carried on Your wings.
In pain and strife I turn to You,
Your grace and love makes all things new.
My love, my God, to You I give
And only for You will I live.

Apart from You, my heart and soul
Can never be alive and whole.

-theprodigalsaint

Consistency: The Kingdom vs the King

Every now and then I’d add the calendar widget to my blog, just to see how “consistent” I’ve been in posting.

Usually, I do that when I really want to write, but somehow can’t — so I check how many I’ve written for the week and if I could get away with not writing, or if I can let it go and hope something comes to me a few days later.

Now that I think about it? I couldn’t be any further from His heart.

I decided to write this blog, as I’ve repeated countless times, to try and foster a sense of community for Saints everywhere whom God decides to reach through this blog. With that, I’ve always held on to the idea that I will KEEP POSTING AS LONG AS HE KEEPS GIVING SOMETHING TO POST ABOUT.

For about a month that went on AWESOMELY. If you check it out, you can find a day or two when I posted about 2 to 4 blog entries! I was on fire last month. I just started typing away the moment I feel the Spirit stir up something in me to write about — and since it’s the Spirit working? My fingers just kept dancing around on the keys and words kept flowing.

Recently, I’m down to about a post a week. It’s depressing and discouraging to say the least. What’s more? These weekly posts — by some silly standard I don’t really understand but can certainly feel — just don’t seem to be at par with my older ones.

I feel like such a failure. As a writer. As a blogger. And definitely as a Saint.

That last failure category sure struck a cord — Failure as a Saint.

And like any prodigal would do? I tried fixing the problem myself. I didn’t bother seeking God, I was already bothering Him way too much with my school work — this is something He has entrusted to me, and I want to do what I can to show I can be responsible in what He’s given me.

WRONG

As Saints I failed with the only responsibility we’ve been entrusted with — TO LOVE THE LORD MY GOD.

I was minding the kingdom too much, I forgot ITS KING.

There was no way I’d be able to get back  to “my rhythm” in writing JUST BY MY OWN EFFORTS. After all, it’s HIS blog — He won’t let me go on writing WITHOUT HIM.

I realized, I’m not just experiencing a common case of “writer’s block” — my HEART was blocked.

Lately, I’ve been under too much work — a term nearing its end is like having stabbed a snake and have it coil up around you tighter before it lets go of its life. I’ve placed too much focus on what I have to do, and forgot what I OUGHT TO DO.

I am a Saint, I’m called to be in constant communion with Him — nothing more, definitely, nothing LESS.

Why can’t I write? Because I don’t have anything to write about.

Why don’t I have anything to write about? Because I have no source of ideas.

Why don’t I have any sources? BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN AS CLOSE AS I SHOULD BE WITH MY GOD — MY SOURCE OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

Jesus said:

Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. (John 15: 4-5)

Apart from Him (Jesus) we can do nothing. I’d personally go further and say, apart from Him, we are NOTHING.

God in His grace has reminded me of this, sure, I have to go through times of drought too — but no season in life would ever trump His promise:

MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. (2 Cor. 12:9a)

TheProdigalSaint’s been called to come back; and all this time he thought he’s been back — apparently, he’s not “home” enough.

God’s love is too stubborn to just let us be average — it won’t stop till we’re fully basking in it.

Sainthood doesn’t include numbness.

It’s in the midst of so much pain and anguish is FAITH really tested.

It’s one thing to try and stand firm when circumstances are pressuring you, it’s definitely another to try and stand firm when you’re battling with things within yourself.

When it’s not about what’s pleasurable, what’s desirable, what’s fun — when the decisions are about dealing with the pain, feeling the burn, and enduring the sting.

It’s in times of dealing with these that our faith is really tested. James’ words ring in my head:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Pure joy. WOW. What a calling.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

God says peace… We all have it in us as saints, we just have to HOLD ON TO IT.

No one said this life would be easy. Diamonds don’t get their luster without pressure for years and strenuous cutting. We Saints too don’t get to become like our Master without any of these trials.

THEREFORE SAINTS,

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Tim. 2:3)